Toughest thing you ever told your parents.

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Toughest thing you ever told your parents.

Post by Cardcaptor Takato » Mon Apr 19, 2004 8:29 am

Like the topic title says, what's the hardest thing you ever had to tell your parents about? Last night I just explained to my mother that I was depressed and needed to see a psychatrist. I'm very nervous about what's going to happen now because I have no clue. I'm even more nervous about it now than I was before I said it. Anyway, that's the hardest thing I ever had to tell my parents. What's yours?
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Post by Emma » Mon Apr 19, 2004 9:31 am

Wow...I can't even list how many times I had to tell my folks what I did or what is wrong with me. Well, so far the toughest thing I told my parents is when I found out that I had a miscarriage with my first child. My parents were soooo happy that they were finally going to have a grandchild....my husband was more happy than I was. Then out of no where....I lost my child. I still haven't gotten over it still...and at this point I don't think I ever will. Well I feel better getting that off my chest.

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Post by MarioKnight » Mon Apr 19, 2004 12:39 pm

Some big decisions I make I find it hard to tell my parents and talk to them about, such as me deciding to move out of their house last year, took about a week or so but it all ended up working out in the end. However, I have a more recent one that I found even tougher to tell them. This semester right after spring break, I had dropped ART 207 (computer graphics class) since it just wasn't working out well along with having a (until dropping it) five class semester. This course was part of my learning agreement for my major (set of four or more courses we choose to take for a focus point) which means that I would have to change my learning agreement, since if I couldn't handle the first art class in the agreement, then I most likely wouldn't be able to handle the next two. Around this time, I was seeing that I wouldn't be able to graduate on time no matter what happens, that I would need another semester. I was pretty worried about what their reaction would be, had absolutely no idea what to expect, it was about a week and a half before I even e-mailed my mom to tell her all that. She seemed a bit suprised and said that we should talk about it, and we did when we had dinner before one of my jazz concerts she came to, and thankfully she was very understanding of my situations and talked me through stuff I should do to finish with that one extra semester and whatnot. I'm very glad that everything worked out well, though at the time I was scared shitless.
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Post by Em » Mon Apr 19, 2004 1:19 pm

I had to tell my dad I tired to kill myself. My mum knew already but I hadn't told my dad until about last year really ^^;.
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Post by Tiff » Mon Apr 19, 2004 2:31 pm

Emma wrote:Then out of no where....I lost my child. I still haven't gotten over it still...and at this point I don't think I ever will. Well I feel better getting that off my chest.
Best wishes to you, hun. Good luck with the future plans.


One of the hardest things I've ever had to tell my Mom was that I'm bisexual..and she responded with "I figured as much" -___- I was so worked up and worried, and both of my parents were like "eh *shrug*". My dad really surprised me, becuase while he's never been AGAINST gays, he's never really liked the idea, either...but he was A OK with it. Parents are weird.

THE hardest one was telling my Mom about The Bastard sexually assaulting me (those of you who are from the old forum remember that story of mine). That was so damn hard, becuase I know my Mom felt helpless, and my Dad felt even more helpless. It was extremely difficult having to go through that with my Mother, becuase at the time I felt ashamed and disgusting, and it pained me to hurt my parents.

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Re: Toughest thing you ever told your parents.

Post by yoshmaster5 » Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:04 pm

Cardcaptor Takato wrote:Like the topic title says, what's the hardest thing you ever had to tell your parents about? Last night I just explained to my mother that I was depressed and needed to see a psychatrist. I'm very nervous about what's going to happen now because I have no clue. I'm even more nervous about it now than I was before I said it. Anyway, that's the hardest thing I ever had to tell my parents. What's yours?
Don't worry Cardcaptor Takato, my Dad's a psychatrist. I've had to see one, and they don't make you lay on one of those beds, unless it's really bad. I'm talking war veteran that wants 100% disability so he dosen't have to do anything for the rest of his life, or crazy people. You will face them, and you should have nothing to worry about.

Emma... gomen na sai. that hurts.

On topic:
As for me... hm... when I was framed at school probebly. it was 4th grade, so now nothing major that changed my life.

One day, one of my teachers comes and tells me that a kid is writing letters with cuss words on them and signing my name. Now I don't know WHO it was, but I know now that if someone in my grade did that now, they would know not to sign my name, because there is no way i'd be THAT stupid. One kid that was my friend, was giving me Pokemon cards, and I had played with him for 2 years. When I told my parents, they accused him of doing everything, and said that he was BRIBING me to be his friend. either way, I was just lucky my teachers believed me, and trusted me on that incident. Well, this DID change me... I got extremely depressed and my dad noticed right away, put me on zoloft. yeah... stupid... but for me it was a big deal.
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Post by Kez-chan » Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:14 pm

Tiff wrote:
One of the hardest things I've ever had to tell my Mom was that I'm bisexual..and she responded with "I figured as much" -___- I was so worked up and worried, and both of my parents were like "eh *shrug*".
Brave girl, Tiff. Can I call you Tiffu-chan? ^_^ (yes, you don't know me at all, but everyone else seems to call you that and it's so cute!)

But, that has nothing to do with anything. Seriously, you ARE brave, and I admire anyone who has the guts to do it. Especially since I am completely terrified about my mother finding out the same thing about me.

If I ever DO tell, then that'll be the toughest for sure. Aside from that, once upon a time I had to tell my parents I was being bullied at university. I don't know why that was so hard, I guess because you don't expect it at university, but... it was rough. They were supportive, though, so yay in the end :)

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Post by Choc » Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:23 pm

Last night I just explained to my mother that I was depressed and needed to see a psychatrist. I'm very nervous about what's going to happen now because I have no clue. I'm even more nervous about it now than I was before I said it.
Don't wory about it. I've been to one before. They're generally nice people, or at least they have to be in order to get anywhere. So don't be nervos, okay? :wink:
Last edited by Choc on Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Tiff » Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:59 pm

Okay. I'm only going to say this once.
If you have nothing that was tough to tell your parents..DON'T RESPOND. It adds nothing to the initial conversation. So if you've done this, edit it to at least respond to something someone else has said.
Brave girl, Tiff. Can I call you Tiffu-chan? ^_^ (yes, you don't know me at all, but everyone else seems to call you that and it's so cute!)

But, that has nothing to do with anything. Seriously, you ARE brave, and I admire anyone who has the guts to do it. Especially since I am completely terrified about my mother finding out the same thing about me.
Of course you can =D
And thank you. I thought I was going to be sick telling her, but it turned out fine. Don't be terrified...it's like a shot or something. It causes more illness and pain to worry than to just get it over with.

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Post by Emma » Mon Apr 19, 2004 9:34 pm

Thank you Tiff and yoshmaster5 for your words. It means a lot to me and makes feel better. Its so sad for everyone who has been through a lot. At the same time, I have to wonder was it fate that had a hand to play? I wonder why good people go through bad things, is it for us to be stronger or to become more understanding? Who knows but in the end its always comforting to know that there are still good people out there.

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Post by Tiff » Mon Apr 19, 2004 11:25 pm

Emma wrote:Thank you Tiff and yoshmaster5 for your words. It means a lot to me and makes feel better. Its so sad for everyone who has been through a lot. At the same time, I have to wonder was it fate that had a hand to play? I wonder why good people go through bad things, is it for us to be stronger or to become more understanding? Who knows but in the end its always comforting to know that there are still good people out there.
You certainly have the right attitude, so I'm confident everything will be okay with you. You know that it's nobody's fault these things happen, and that there is still great things left in the world. You'll get your due.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by MonkeyDLuffy » Mon Apr 19, 2004 11:58 pm

Three hardest things I had to tell my parents: I am usually depressed, I don't fully beleive in our religion (my family is very religious O_o) and I hate myself.

The depression was from earlier years (I think after I moved from California to Arizona), and it's still there :( . Then the religion "rebel" started last year when I started listening in church, and didn't agree with a lot of it. Then I recently started to hate myself a lot, which is sad because I know I shouldn't, but it isn't going away.
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Re: Toughest thing you ever told your parents.

Post by Cardcaptor Takato » Tue Apr 20, 2004 1:01 am

yoshmaster5 wrote: Don't worry Cardcaptor Takato, my Dad's a psychatrist. I've had to see one, and they don't make you lay on one of those beds, unless it's really bad. I'm talking war veteran that wants 100% disability so he dosen't have to do anything for the rest of his life, or crazy people. You will face them, and you should have nothing to worry about.

An update on my story, my parents think the reason why I'm depressed is because I'm not getting enough sleep at night. :roll: I get at least nine hours and I don't do anything streneous for the rest of the day....I could see how it wouldn't help your depression any, but I don't see how that's the direct cause of it. If I told them I was bisexual, would they think it's because I'm not eating enough vegetables? It sounds like they're confusing depression with stress to me.
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Post by Kez-chan » Tue Apr 20, 2004 10:14 am

Tiff wrote:And thank you. I thought I was going to be sick telling her, but it turned out fine. Don't be terrified...it's like a shot or something. It causes more illness and pain to worry than to just get it over with.
Oooo. That's an excellent way of thinking about it - thankyou for that! I'm not ready to tell yet, but when I do I'll have to try and remember that :)

Also, Cardcaptor Takato - stress and depression are kinda linked and easily confused, but I'm betting you already know that. But it's frustrating getting people to understand these things, and that you have done all you can short of medication or professional help, so I sympathise...

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Post by Tiff » Tue Apr 20, 2004 4:43 pm

Kez-chan wrote:
Oooo. That's an excellent way of thinking about it - thankyou for that! I'm not ready to tell yet, but when I do I'll have to try and remember that :)

Also, Cardcaptor Takato - stress and depression are kinda linked and easily confused, but I'm betting you already know that. But it's frustrating getting people to understand these things, and that you have done all you can short of medication or professional help, so I sympathise...
Kez-chan: You're very welcome =D

Cardcaptor Takato: Keep in mind as well that your parents were probably terrified after hearing you're depressed, what with all the teen suicides and the like that they hear about on the news. You have to keep that in mind, and realize that that will lead them to believe it's something minor and easily fixable. Do your best to educate yourself and to educate them.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by yoshmaster5 » Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:55 pm

Cardcaptor Takato: Keep in mind as well that your parents were probably terrified after hearing you're depressed, what with all the teen suicides and the like that they hear about on the news. You have to keep that in mind, and realize that that will lead them to believe it's something minor and easily fixable. Do your best to educate yourself and to educate them.
good point Tiff...

but, there really aren't too many compared to other depressed people. I suffer from Mental Depression too. Just go to a psychatrist soon, and get what he perscribes. Make sure it's a psychatrist, or a DO in psychatry. Make sure they don't perscribe too many medications, usually only one or two medications are required. Depression can be counteracted, and very easily. I've known I've been mentally depressed since 4th grade. Just hurry, see one, and get the depression medicine. VERY easy. Show your parents this, it should help some.

Don't worry, you should be fine. the ratio of Teen Depression suicides to regular depression is pretty low. The media just exaggerates the amount of suicides. not every depressed kid commits suicide, just keep in mind you have friends, a loving family, and your own uniqueness. It helps a lot.
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Post by Tiff » Tue Apr 20, 2004 7:04 pm

yoshmaster5 wrote:
but, there really aren't too many compared to other depressed people. I suffer from Mental Depression too. Just go to a psychatrist soon, and get what he perscribes. Make sure it's a psychatrist, or a DO in psychatry. Make sure they don't perscribe too many medications, usually only one or two medications are required. Depression can be counteracted, and very easily. I've known I've been mentally depressed since 4th grade. Just hurry, see one, and get the depression medicine. VERY easy. Show your parents this, it should help some.
Medication is NOT always the answer. Medication can work for some people, but for others, it takes much more in terms of mental and emotional healing. Also, "getting what he prescribes" isn't always the right answers, either. Some medications fuck people up moreso than help, and it takes long searches to find the right one.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
-Friends

"In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn"
-Son of Man, Tarzan

"Why do we have to resort to nonviolence? Can’t we just kick their asses?"
-Leela, Futurama

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Post by Artemis » Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:23 pm

Probably the hardest thing that I told my mom was that I had beaten up a kid at school...but that was in fourth grade...-_-
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Post by Umino » Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:22 pm

For me was telling my mom that...

I got suspended for two days, for a pretty stupid reason... (IMO)

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Post by Ni-ban Neko » Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:24 pm

Tiff, you nailed it with what you said about meds. I'm almost done with my master's in psychology. In my clinical assessment and psychopharmacology classes, both my professors really stressed that medication alone wasn't always the answer. Often what works best is a combination of therapy with a counselor or clinical psychologist and medication. There are a lot of different kinds of antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, and it can often take a while for the drugs to take effect, too. Therapy helps because you can learn coping skills that will help you to deal with the situations you're facing.

Back on topic, the hardest things I've told my parents have been that I was seeing David, and that I was moving to Boston. It wasn't easy, but they've accepted it well (they love him now!) and they've been supportive.

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