I am a person.

Post by **Tiff** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:27 pm

Sometimes labels make me angry. Gothic, preppy, jock, valley girl, dubbie, subbie, elitist...all general labels to describe the lifestyles of people. They are used to stereotype preferences, demeanor, character, and personality. Often I ask myself..can those things truly be labeled? Can you sit here and label what kind of person I am based on a relationship we have through an online forum? Can you truly sit here and judge me, and tell me what my every reaction, what my next move will be to whatever situation may arise?

Do you know what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what angers me, or what doesn't make me feel at all? Or do you simply assume becuase of the already mapped-out image you have of me in your head?

Let me tell you something. I am a person. I have feelings, just like you. I co-own a website that compares the dubbed version of a tv show to the original, Japanese version. I helped make it with two of my friends, becuase I wanted to have fun and I wanted to inform. What does that make me?

I am not an elitist. I am not a subbie. I am not a purist. I am a person who just happens to like the original versions of shows and movies. It is my perference. So why the hell should it matter to you?

You don't like SMU? Don't come. You don't like me? Don't talk to me. But don't you dare make assumptions about me. Who gave you the bloody right to do so? Who graced you with the psychic ability to see inside of my brain, to tell what I'm thinking or how I'll react? And for that matter...who gave you the power to empathetically feel what I feel?

I'm tired of being treated otherwise. I'm tired of the hate mail and of the negative statements I receive due to my opinions being different. I'm tired of the judgement, the assumptions, and of the complete bullshit ideas that people have of me.

I cry too, people. And sometimes, the things I see here in the forums, or in my inbox, or in the old SMU guestbook make me want to take it all away. But I don't. Becuase it's mine, Bob's, and Dan's.

And you know what? I'm proud of it. So if you don't like me or feel like labeling me, then leave me the fuck alone.

Anthy · Post by **Anthy** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:44 pm

Those who label and label themselves are taking the easy way out of actually trying to understand another person or themselves. (By labelling, I mean "prep" and not "Jew" or whatever)

One's philosophy, ways of dealing with his/her own feelings, actions, loves and hates, appearance, and beliefs are what makes that person individual. Labels and groups make people easier to organize, I think. While people under groups do share similar characteristics, these generalizations are not a finite, infalliable way to judge a person's character. It's that simple. Simpler yet, you aren't your group, nor is your group you.

Beautifully written, Tiff.

Post by **Tiff** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:06 am

Thank you, Anthy-babe <3

DreamEmpress · Post by **DreamEmpress** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:37 am

Tiff: I agree with Anthy. That was truly beatifully written. I'm very proud of you for never being reluctant to share your views on the forum or this entire site. *hugs Tiff*

I sincerely hate labeling. Sterotyping someone based on appearance, religion, interests, gender, ect. is really heart breaking and extremely frustrating. When it's people that you see face to face every day it's bad enough, but on the forums it's even more discouraging. All we have are written words to communicate with and that doesn't always help anything.

We all read things and respond to them. Just based off posts we start to get images in our minds of what all of us must be like. It's not fair to just assume things about people that way without truly being able to get to know them. This is something we can all relate to. Who can honestly say that they've never been labeled? No one really can.

Places like this are suppose to be fun and a great way to express you're views with others who just happen to enjoy something that you do too. That doesn't mean that we don't have lives outside of this. We are so much more than one or two bits of our interests. Before you decide to label someone on here, try to get to know them extremely well. It might completely change your mind.

Tiff: (on a personal note) I don't know you very well, but you've been so kind and helpful around here to all of us. I know that we tend to drive you and the other admins and mods crazy from time to time. However, you all are just totally awesome and I just have enjoyed getting to know each and every one of you so far. I sincerely hope that we can continue to do so in the future. That goes for quite a few of the other members as well.

Post by **Tiff** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:55 am

DreamEmpress wrote:Tiff: I agree with Anthy. That was truly beatifully written. I'm very proud of you for never being reluctant to share your views on the forum or this entire site. *hugs Tiff*

Thank you. *Hugs* I find it very important for one to be able to share their views.

Places like this are suppose to be fun and a great way to express you're views with others who just happen to enjoy something that you do too. That doesn't mean that we don't have lives outside of this. We are so much more than one or two bits of our interests. Before you decide to label someone on here, try to get to know them extremely well. It might completely change your mind.

Exactly. If you want to get to know me...great. If you don't..then why the hell are you wasting your time...and my time...by talking with me just for the sheer purpose of insulting me, twisting my words, or trying to make me look bad? I personally don't care if people don't LIKE me..but at least give me a good reason why if you choose to splash the world with that knowledge.

Tiff: (on a personal note) I don't know you very well, but you've been so kind and helpful around here to all of us. I know that we tend to drive you and the other admins and mods crazy from time to time. However, you all are just totally awesome and I just have enjoyed getting to know each and every one of you so far. I sincerely hope that we can continue to do so in the future. That goes for quite a few of the other members as well.

I appreciate that. You have no idea how good that makes me feel, becuase sometimes after reading some of the hate mail or some of the negative posts, I really feel like shit. But to know that at least one or two people care...it really, really helps.

KoiNoVash · Post by **KoiNoVash** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 1:16 am

I know what you mean, I'm tired of the way of people label themselves and others. At times it can be extremely degrading and hurtful. It ignores the person's inner beauty and attempts to fit them into some sort of mold. It can also deny people who might turn out to become really close from ever knowing each other because they don't belong in the same "labels," it's so sad. I try my best not to label people, but at times it can be hard because they themselves try to fit into that label (though this was back in highschool).

You seem like a very wonderful person Tiff and I agree with you on that subtitle issue. You seem really nice since you have to put up with so much in emails and in the forums. Overall I think you have done a fine job putting up with it all. Had it been me in your shoes, I would have probably said "to hell with it" a long time ago.

Sailorasteroid · Post by **Sailorasteroid** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 3:06 am

Tiff seems sad or mad tonight, so I want to remind you that there are people out there who do not label and degrade, and we (to whatever degree I can count myself as part of that class) feel for you.

Three things you need to remember: One is that most of the people who are quick to slap a label on another person spend their lives trying to live up to labels themselves. If you are unable to find people who like you as a whole, you have to marginalize yourself down to a look, or a type, or a single idea.

Two is that whether or not you have faith in Humanity (I do), extending it to individuals is a risky proposition. There are some stupid, petty, hateful people out there, and the best hope you can have is that they are forced to deal with people as bad as them.

Third is that SMU is a creation, one that did not spring forth like Minerva from the head of Jove. One of the creators had to write every word, code every image, plus come here every day to moderate the board. Destruction and degredation have always been easier than creation. It's a tremendous dedication and commitment, and the people who want to insult and write hate mail probably can't come close to the effort needed.

So, what I'm trying to say is, Cheer Up! and take comfort in all the good people you know.

Chibi Son Gokou · Post by **Chibi Son Gokou** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 8:25 am

Eh, I'm guilty of massive stereotyping. Bah.

Anthy described it well. People are so complex to the point where stereotypes will just piss them off.

LilEva · Post by **LilEva** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:09 am

Well, not that my opinion should matter to you, but when I first came to this forum, I thought that you were scary. You were so strict about posts and rather, hmm, shall I say, brusque about things in general, especially to newer posters. After a while, I saw why you did these things, partly because that's your personality, and partly because these forums would become chaotic without it, but I think because most people don't stick around as long to get used to you and understand you, and just take things as face value, that's why they believe what they believe about you. You like to express your opinions and don't care what others think, which is not a bad thing, but can make you seem to be antagonistic towards people that do not know you and that are new to the forums. Just my 2 cents.

Lady of the Light · Post by **Lady of the Light** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:09 pm

I hate labels. I am often considered to be the smart evil person at school, and it hurts sometimes. When people just stare at me, and ask if it's nice being heartless, or if I worship the devil. I'm just like them, I have feelings too, even though I don't like showing them...And just because I wear black all the time doesn't mean I worship the devil, or I'm gothic.

As for Tiff, I think that the main reason that you haven't broken down or killed anyone yet (like I would have) shows that you are a very strong person. You take all this abuse that you don't even need, and you do if with grace, might I add. *hugs Tiff* You're wasting your time on these people, and when you could just go "Oh, screw it", you don't. The fact that you keep on dealing with it means a lot.

Chibi Son Gokou · Post by **Chibi Son Gokou** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:43 pm

I hate it how people judge you by your age, and that anyone who is a teenager is automatically labeled as "immature, destructive, undisaplined, and irresponsible". Old people who come through my line ask me if my job is "keeping me out of trouble" or if "I'm going to go out and party tonight". What's worse is that companies will use your age against you when considering to hire you. And car insurance companies are worse. They charge you rates through the roof if you're 17 and male just because "oh 17 year old males are wreckless drivers", which is a load of bull. I'm 19 and have been driving for over two years and *gasp* my license still says "Safe Driver" on it.

Post by **Tiff** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 1:36 pm

LilEva wrote:Well, not that my opinion should matter to you, but when I first came to this forum, I thought that you were scary. You were so strict about posts and rather, hmm, shall I say, brusque about things in general, especially to newer posters. After a while, I saw why you did these things, partly because that's your personality, and partly because these forums would become chaotic without it, but I think because most people don't stick around as long to get used to you and understand you, and just take things as face value, that's why they believe what they believe about you. You like to express your opinions and don't care what others think, which is not a bad thing, but can make you seem to be antagonistic towards people that do not know you and that are new to the forums. Just my 2 cents.

Your opinion matters to me, becuase you are a valued member of this forum.

And let me kind of clear things up...It's not so much that I care what people think of me. If people think i'm too strict or mean at first, that's fine...if they don't want to stick around to learn otherwise, that's fine, too. That's their perogative, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. What DOES get to me is when people who have either been here long enough to at least see a glimpse of who I am, or have just arrived and jump to immediate conclusions, openly VOCALIZE something bitter, cruel, or mean about the way I do things or decide to slap a label on my personality. THAT'S what gets to me.

I understand completely that one may think I'm somewhat of a monster on these forums when they first come. But let's take your example...you didn't openly say something like, "Geez, the wonderful god of SMU is throwing down her reign again. *rolls eyes*" or something to that effect when I enforced the rules. You stood back, let me do what I needed to do, and then got to know the side of me that ISN'T about rules, admining, or SMU. And that's what I wish everybody could do, and I thank you and those others who have taken the time to do that.

Tiff seems sad or mad tonight, so I want to remind you that there are people out there who do not label and degrade, and we (to whatever degree I can count myself as part of that class) feel for you.

Third is that SMU is a creation, one that did not spring forth like Minerva from the head of Jove. One of the creators had to write every word, code every image, plus come here every day to moderate the board. Destruction and degredation have always been easier than creation. It's a tremendous dedication and commitment, and the people who want to insult and write hate mail probably can't come close to the effort needed.

Tiff was angered by something said in another section of this forum, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

And your third point is exactly what I remind myself of everytime I receive something negative. 98% of the time, I don't let this shit bother me. But once in a while...something happens or someone says something that just makes it all seem worthless. It generally doesn't last long (i'm already feeling better, mostly from the great responses i've receieved here and from my other friends online), and I just think about what you said above.

yamijounouchi · Post by **yamijounouchi** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 3:36 pm

though i'm sure you don't know who the hell i am, i would just like to say that i am a very big fan of this site and i have been for a while (exactly how long, i'm not sure. i don't have a good sense of time). i like this site more than dbz uncensored and i can honestly say, it is really something to be proud of.
i know how it feels to be labled, i'm sure everyone does. i am a black guy who treated like crap because i dispise rap music and i hate the way black people are sterotyped as acting. even black people at my school treat me this way, calling me things like "white boy" and the like.
i'm not writing this to envoke sympathy or anything, i'm just saying, i think everyone understands these things. and while i don't know you personally, i do want you to know, whatever it's worth, you have done a really great job.

Akarui Kibuno · Post by **Akarui Kibuno** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 5:11 pm

Ah, Tiffu-san...

I myself at first was scared, too. Because I also thought you were a bit strict. But, to tell you the truth, this is now why I love the forums. And your section on the site, though it's not the same thing.

And why that ? Because it wouldn't be the same without you. I too would like to get to know you more, because even though "knowing" someone online is never enough, I still know enough about you to like you. You have a good sense of humor, you know where to draw the limits on the board, you know how to deals with things. I don't know if I could write a whole book about how your "attitude" glued me to the site, but I still say you're the reason why I'm still here.

Though I'm not saying I don't like the whole site. But I love Tiffu-san. I bow to Tiff, because I want to, because Tiff has never been someone mean nor nothing bad, because Tiff is just herself, a human, as everyone else, online, offline, I don't care, Tiffu is Tiffu and I like Tiffu as I know her and I'm sure I'd like Tiffu in real life.

Tiffu-san rocks, guys!

jupiter23 · Post by **jupiter23** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 5:14 pm

Everyone is right. Stereotyping hurts everyone, even the stereotyper. I am stereotyped all the time. I learned (especially in my area) that people are small-minded like that and will continue to do that, because it is more convenient for them to assume things about you and make themselves look completely stupid in the end than to actually go up to you and try to get to know you for who you are. The biggest thing in my area is religious stereotyping (see my location for reason). 99.99% of people on Louisiana are some Denomination of Christianity, Catholic or otherwise, and strictly belive that if you don't look and dress like you go to Church every Sunday, then you are a Satan Worshipper (no matter what your Religion is) and you are automatically bound for Hell. My response to those people has become,"Then I'll see you there."

ParaKiss_Groupie · Post by **ParaKiss_Groupie** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 5:21 pm

Ah, stereotyping. That fine art of humanity, second only to genocide. I despise it. Tiffu, I understand completely. You administer discipline. You lock things that need to be locked. And that is a personal attack against whoever did it. You're out to get him/her. And the only way s/he/ can be safe is if they tell you that, in a judging, cruel way. Because the computer is a wonderful medium. Through it, one can intimately see everyone in the entire world, especially since they all fit into these itty-bitty pre-defined labels. It's alive all over the Internet. "I hate preps!" "Jocks suck." "Punks annoy me." And one simple thing puts you into those labels. I listen to Britney Spears, therefore I am a Prep. I listen to Marilyn Manson, therefore I'm a Punk. I make good grades, therefore I'm a Nerd. Ah, the many personalities of ParaKisu....

I will, however, admit fault. I have stereotyped people. I've done it before, I will probably do it again. As much as I hate it, it's just so easy to do. I only do it to people that I don't know well. If I personally know someone, I can discuss them without labels. So, I guess I'm a hypocrite. But at least I know that I am.

jupiter23 · Post by **jupiter23** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 5:40 pm

Very well put. The majority of the problem with stereotyping is that most of those who do it have things about themselves they are not willing to admit to themselves or anyone, so they place labels and such on other people to make themselves appear better only to themselves (I know this can also be classified as bullying.)

Sailor Moon · Post by **Sailor Moon** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 5:44 pm

I hate it when someone online says all fans of (a certain character) are evil sluts and bitches and they all suck. Hello! Have you met every fan of that character? No! Therefore, just because you dislike a certain character, that does not make all people who like them evil or soemthing. I cannot stand those stereotypes. In real life too. Also, what about those movies? Somehow, all losers are smart and all popular people are dumb, but popular and athletic. Not all losers are smart. Their are some people who are popular and smart and some people who are not popular and not smart. But the thign that drives me crazy is when people say all fans of so and so are this and that. Stop making assumptions about other people!

Chibi Son Gokou · Post by **Chibi Son Gokou** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 6:53 pm

Tiff was angered by something said in another section of this forum, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Uh oh, it wasn't anything I said was it? Like I said, I tend to stereotype a lot even though I really don't intend to do it on purpose. Was it what I said about Publix Super Markets having customers that typically have the "I'm better than you attitude"? I am desperately sorry if what I said made you upset.

Post by **Tiff** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:06 pm

Chibi Son Gokou wrote:
Uh oh, it wasn't anything I said was it?

No.

If one looks around the forums, it won't be that hard to figure out, but I won't blatantly name names.

I despise it. Tiffu, I understand completely. You administer discipline. You lock things that need to be locked. And that is a personal attack against whoever did it. You're out to get him/her. And the only way s/he/ can be safe is if they tell you that, in a judging, cruel way.

Exactly. Everything's a personal attack, and it's ridiculous. I have rules to maintain and enforce here, and I'm not going to show favoritism to ANYBODY. People seem to think I'm such a total bitch for telling them to follow the damn rules..well, guess what? In the real world, you can't do whatever the hell you want. So the same goes for here. They're there for a REASON.

Though I'm not saying I don't like the whole site. But I love Tiffu-san. I bow to Tiff, because I want to, because Tiff has never been someone mean nor nothing bad, because Tiff is just herself, a human, as everyone else, online, offline, I don't care, Tiffu is Tiffu and I like Tiffu as I know her and I'm sure I'd like Tiffu in real life.

You're a sweetie. *glomps*