Funniest Movie/Book/TV Show scenes!

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Post by Tiff » Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:53 pm

Starscream wrote:From the Simpsons:

"Ooh, what are you gonna do? Send out the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so that when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"
LMAO God, I love that quote...I also love where Homer is looking for Lisa and...

(homer) I've got to get up high! *Sees man selling balloons* Buys a bundle* I sure hope this works...! *Stands there, and then runs to cherry picker guy* Can I please borrow your cherry picker for these balloons?

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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-Son of Man, Tarzan

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-Leela, Futurama

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Post by DuoTheShinigami02 » Tue Jan 27, 2004 7:12 pm

Another one from The Simpsons:

Ned: Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!

Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders!
"After all these years, you know it's not about control. It's about trying to do everything I can. And for you, it's about setting an example. Everyone looks up to you. They listen to you. If you tell them to fight, they'll fight. But they need to be inspired, and let's face it, 'Superman'...the last time you really inspired anyone... was when you were dead." -- Batman, to Superman, Infinite Crisis, issue 1

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Post by Em » Tue Jan 27, 2004 7:48 pm

One of my favourite momnets comes fomr the Hich Hickers Guide to the Galxay's 5th book

"What's Up? Only a bloody alien spaceship!".
"What? Were?"
" Regent'sPark. Big sliver job.Some girl with a bird. She speaks English and throws rocks at people and wahts someone to repair her watch. Just get there"

Another one comes fomr Soul Music between Death and the Bar man
Can't rember to quote it but bascaily it's Death saying he has such good memoery he knows what has ahppned, what will happen ect unlike the barman who's mind will just forget stuff. And how Death can act drunk when he likes it end wiht him fallen sideways getting thorwn in the river.

Same book the garuds disscussing Death's name when Death's Granddaughter goes past goes by one goes
" What he's first name?"
" Well it's Death"
"Nah he sounded like a Susan"
A few pages later theres a chase and she goes past them again
" That was her"
"Who?"
"Susan Death"

Umm just put anything fomr Discwrold really
The Doctor: What''''s the use of a good quotation if you can''''t change it?

[referring back to Ace''''s earlier, rather transparent denial of packing Nitro-9]
The Seventh Doctor: Ace, give me some of that Nitro-9 you''''re not carrying.

The Seventh Doctor: [the Doctor is knelt coughing on the ground having blown up a Dalek with some nitro-9 explosive. The fuse had a shorter time on it than Ace told him] Ace! You said ten seconds.
Ace: Nobody''''s perfect Professor

"He seriously looks like a hot chocolate pimp"- peachvampiress on Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.


Helping mate find her way out of college wiht other mate due to the fact she didn't have contact len's in
"He was cute"
"That was a women"
"Really?"
"Yes"

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Post by KoiNoVash » Wed Jan 28, 2004 2:41 pm

I the like the continuation of the scene DuoTheShinigami02 talked about:

Homer: ::screaming because his skis are forcing him to the the spilts:: OOOHH! This is the worse pain ever! ::runs into a line of snow mounds that smack him in the crouch:: OWWW!

And I like the episode of Rocko's Modern Life when Mr. Bighead thinks he's a pirate.

Heffer: (with ridiculous European accent) I'll run ye through!
Mr. Bighead: ::while he's in pirate mode:: Good grief, what kind of accent is that?

::Mr. Bighead fires a canon at Rocko's house and the house starts sinking in its foundation::
Rocko: AAAHHHHHHHH! We're sinking!
Last edited by KoiNoVash on Wed Jan 28, 2004 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Umino » Wed Jan 28, 2004 2:59 pm

Tracey Takes On..

When Sydeny walks on the stage, and starts singing a song about 'memories'

"And now I'd like to sing a little song"
"Get off the stage asshole"
"..."
"NOW!"

Another episode about Culture has Sydeny river dances in the office's restroom. When she walks in she kicks this woman out.

"Put your makeup away Mrs. Stuben! Why would SOMEONE YOUR AGE THINK IT WOULD HELP? GET OUT! GO!"

"I don't listen to music, I think it's for puss--- who can't express themselves BY YELLING!"

While Sydeny is river dancing, a generic Irish woman comes into the bathroom (yes she was river dancing in a restroom) and starts river dancing. Sydeny gets pissed, and she beats the crap out of the woman.

"Get out of here! Ah! AH! Yes! Don't ever mess with the lord of the dance, AGAIN!"


And in the last episode, it's the end of the world and everyone is running around the airport, Shanesha (a stereotypical black woman)

*shoots gun*
"Why you all acting like fools? No sense in running around and shit. Now go home to your man, or special lady. And make love like it's the end of the world, CUZ IT IS!"

Sydeny trapped in a space satelite

"This is Sydeny Kross calling from the Space Station near."
"SOS! S-O-FUCKING-S!"

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Post by Neo Dead Moon » Fri Jan 30, 2004 12:06 pm

Sealab 2021:

"This is helicopter patrol. There are too many helicopters!"
"With this candle I will..set your mother on fire." - Victor, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

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Post by RoastedTwinkies » Thu Feb 12, 2004 7:37 pm

Here's another Simpsons one:
Lisa: "There's the Hello Kitty factory!" *cats meowing*

This is off topic, but this scene is from Girl, Interrupted:
Lisa: Take one more step and I'll shove this in my aorta! *holding pen at throat*
Nurse: Your aorta is in your heart.
Lisa: Good to know.
In my science 30 class, we started with the parts of the heart, and as soon and the teacher mentioned aorta, I thought of this scene and I had a hard time to keep from laughing.

I don't remember what show this was from, but I remember a scene where this guy had a pet goldfish and the goldfish kept trying to commit suicide all the time. The fish would jump out of the fishbowl and then the guy would jump to catch it. Does anybody remember this???

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Post by Tiff » Thu Feb 12, 2004 9:10 pm

RoastedTwinkies wrote:Here's another Simpsons one:
Lisa: "There's the Hello Kitty factory!" *cats meowing*

This is off topic, but this scene is from Girl, Interrupted:
Lisa: Take one more step and I'll shove this in my aorta! *holding pen at throat*
Nurse: Your aorta is in your heart.
Lisa: Good to know.
In my science 30 class, we started with the parts of the heart, and as soon and the teacher mentioned aorta, I thought of this scene and I had a hard time to keep from laughing.
That simpsons scene cracks me up...in fact, that entire episode does. And as for the Girl, Interrupted one..I"ve never seen the movie, but I saw that scene in the previews, and I about died.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
-Friends

"In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn"
-Son of Man, Tarzan

"Why do we have to resort to nonviolence? Can’t we just kick their asses?"
-Leela, Futurama

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Post by Aya Reiko » Fri Feb 13, 2004 8:08 pm

B5 quotes-

[After Londo passes out drunk on the table]
Vir: Ah! He has become one with his inner self!
Garibaldi: He's passed out.
Vir: That too.

Marcus: You see? It's like I've always said. You get more with a kind word and a two by four than you do with just a kind word.


Clerks-

Randal: My mom's been f---in' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.

Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal: Annoying customer.
Customer: F----n' d---head.
You seem like the kind of person who'll lie.
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Post by crazydiamond » Sun Feb 15, 2004 11:03 pm

Favorite from an animated movie:
Dori, in Finding Nemo: "The seamonkeys have my money" and the entire "P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney" skit
Favorite from a movie:
This one isn't necessarily *supposed* to be funny, but in Timeline (the movie), the French have "night arrows" shot at them (arrows...shot at night...), and the subtitles read "NIGHT ARROWS!!" It was so freakin' hilarious. TWO exclamation points AND all caps.
Also, most any part of Not Another Teen Movie, especially the "S-e-r-a...t...p..." and the deleted scene where Jake says "you couldn't have possibly whispered all that." and austin answers, "Oh, but I did. I'm a very fast whisperer." then he hobbles off a few steps and falls down weeping for Reggie Ray.
Favorite from a cartoon:
Invader ZIM, NanoZIM, where ZIM shrinks himself and goes into Dib's body. "Arm control nerves...in my belly?" and the entire scene where Dib loses control of his body. "ARMS LIKE...NOOODLES!!!" he flails around and then bites the couch.
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Post by Dinozore » Sun Feb 15, 2004 11:23 pm

The scene in An American Tail: Feivel Goes West with Tiger and the dancing cow (buffalo?) skeleton. And when he's trying to see Feivel off at the train station, but he's dogged (literally) the whole way there.
"Tell my tale to those who ask... tell it truthfully, the ill deeds along with the good, and let me be judged accordingly. The rest... is silence..." last words of Dinobot, "Code of Hero"
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Post by DuoTheShinigami02 » Mon Feb 16, 2004 3:34 pm

The "Celebrity Jeopardy" skits in SNL:

Sean Connery: "I'll take 'The Rapists', Alex."
Alex: "That's 'Therapists', not 'The Rapists."

And don't get me started on "S" Words (Swords), Album Cover (Anal Bum Cover), or The Pen is Mighter (The Penis Mightier), not to mention
"Buck Futter".

Or John Travolta's response to "Your favorite food": Miso

Alex: "And you wager, HORNY. Miso horny." (Travolta laughs)
"After all these years, you know it's not about control. It's about trying to do everything I can. And for you, it's about setting an example. Everyone looks up to you. They listen to you. If you tell them to fight, they'll fight. But they need to be inspired, and let's face it, 'Superman'...the last time you really inspired anyone... was when you were dead." -- Batman, to Superman, Infinite Crisis, issue 1

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Post by yoshmaster5 » Mon Feb 16, 2004 3:54 pm

Celebrety Jeoprady! oh god...

Alex: Mr. Connery, the sound a DOG makes.
Sean: MOO.
Alex: NO.
Sean: well that's the sound your mom made last night!
-Adam Picard-
Blake? oh, like a coffee break!!
Poet? What is that? Is it tasty? Is it a popular new snack? Usagi, Stars 179

James: For some reason I'm seeing you in a nurse's uniform...
Steve: Thank you Jeff, that will be all. ... He's not here, is he? Oh God I've internalized him...
-Coupling; The Freckle, the Key, and the Couple who weren't

'Who will tell us about this? Oh, no it is didnt know New Orleans was underwater guy.'
-Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

"Plus, Act now and you'll get the Mood of Dick Cheney! Including Rage, *RANH* Irritability, *RANH* and Mind-Blowing Orgasmic pleasure! *RAAAAANH* Order now!"
-The Daily Show, 8-22-06

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Post by Specter » Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:13 pm

You two forgot the best one! When Sean Connery answered the final jeopardy question by putting the letter "V"... "Alex" said "Yes, you are technically correct", or something like that. And then the rest of Sean Connery's answer is revealed: "Suck it, Alex"

EDIT: You made me go download those skits. Darn you.
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Post by Parallax » Mon Mar 08, 2004 3:35 pm

Star Trek:TOS: "The Trouble with Tribbles". The scene where Capt. Kirk opens an overhead hatch and thousands of tribbles fall out and bury him!!! :lol: :lol:
"Oh yeah. Someone is definitely tired of breathing." ("The Main Man", Part 1)

I'm writing this Sailor Moon/Green Lantern crossover AU fic called "Emerald Sunrise". It's a hybrid of Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi, Romance, and Comedy. It's about Ami (Sailor Mercury) getting a new boyfriend who just happens to be a member of The Green Lantern Corps. I'm also throwing in some other characters from other animes and some old Hanna-Barbera cartoons from the late '60's early '70's. I'm also illustrating it as well. :oops: Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

"Dead Man Walking!!!!!!!"

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Post by yoshmaster5 » Thu Jul 22, 2004 9:31 pm

Sorry for bringing up a REALLY old topic... but I have some more.

Teen Titans, when Robin is forced to go on a date with a villian's daughter. During the, "Date" , ANY scene with Starfire in it is hystarical... she gets so pissed off... XD

SNL, "Janet Rino" and Rudy Juliani boxing scene.
Rudy Juliani: "You box dirty!"
Will Ferrel as Janet Rino: "Then how come my conscionce is so clean???" *does random dance*

SNL. The entire "Bad Docter" Skit.
Will Ferrel: "Hello? Mark? No, he's not here. My name? Marc. No, I spell it with a 'c'. What do you mean you're my wife? Fine, if your my wife what's our cat's name? Mr. Stitches... damn your good."
Then classic scene in that...
Will Ferrel: "Your son's a witch."
Molly Shannon: "Oh my god!"
Will Ferrel: "Nurse, Send in Dr. Poop. Yes, Laugh at his name, but he may be the only one sho could save your son!" *Tim Meadows comes in*
Tim Meadows: "I am doctor Steven Poop. There is nothing I can do for your son, but I can do, the Robot." *does robot* "That will be $5,000. Good day." *leaves, and it shows Molly Shannon laughing. yes, she cracked*
Then Chris Parnell: "What the hell was that?"
Will Ferrel: "Sorry, I couldn't think of anything else."
-Adam Picard-
Blake? oh, like a coffee break!!
Poet? What is that? Is it tasty? Is it a popular new snack? Usagi, Stars 179

James: For some reason I'm seeing you in a nurse's uniform...
Steve: Thank you Jeff, that will be all. ... He's not here, is he? Oh God I've internalized him...
-Coupling; The Freckle, the Key, and the Couple who weren't

'Who will tell us about this? Oh, no it is didnt know New Orleans was underwater guy.'
-Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

"Plus, Act now and you'll get the Mood of Dick Cheney! Including Rage, *RANH* Irritability, *RANH* and Mind-Blowing Orgasmic pleasure! *RAAAAANH* Order now!"
-The Daily Show, 8-22-06

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Post by Jusenkyo no Pikachu » Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:05 pm

From The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy...

The story so far: In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Or that bit at the end of Episode 6 (or The Restaurant at the End of the Universe if you don't know the other versions) where Arthur and Ford discover that the mathematicians were in fact wrong and six by seven is not forty-two.

Or even...

ZAPHOD: This marble is as slippery as...Ford! What's the slipperiest thing you can think of?
FORD: Well, at the moment, this marble!
ZAPHOD: Right! This marble is as slippery as...this marble.
"That new girl? She seems kinda weird to me. And what kind of name is Buffy anyway?"
"Hey, Aphrodisia!"
--unaired Buffy pilot

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Post by ParaKiss_Groupie » Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:20 pm

Movie:

The scene in the Stepford Wives remake, where Faith Hill's character is having sex in the afternoon, and Roger, Joanne, and Bobbi are all listening in.

Faith Hill: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roger: *running up stairs*

Joanne: Where are you going?

Roger: I'm going to get me some!

I nearly died in the theater. My friends and I were laughing for like, 10 minutes after that scene.

TV:

In Will & Grace, there was an episode where NBC was supposed to air a gay kiss, but didn't. Jack was very upset, and he and Will wanted to complain to the president of NBC. When they were turned away, they found Al Roker and were talking to him.

Jack: Seriously. How long are we going to have to wait before we see two gay men kissing on prime time television?

*cut to Grace, who is trying to break up with her boyfriend by claiming to be in love with Will* So you see, I can't date you anymore. I'm in love with Will.

*back to Will & Jack*

Will: Not very long. *spins Jack around and kisses him right in front of the camera, which is broadcasting live*

*back to Grace*

Grace's boyfriend: Isn't that Will on TV? Kissing another man?

The way the did the scene was hilarious, not to mention the "GODAMMIT" look on Grace's face.

Books:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Malfoy: You're dead, Potter.

Harry: Funny. Why am I still walking around?
"I loved you. I was a pentapod monster, but I love you. I was despicable and brutal and turpid, mais je t'aimais, je t'aimais. And there were times when I knew how you felt, and it was hell to know it. My Lolita girl, brave Dolly Schuller."
--Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

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Post by peachvampiress » Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:22 pm

From Red Dwarf (there are many, so I'll only pick two):

LISTER: Rimmer, the escape pod is not an option.
RIMMER: Why not?
LISTER: It escaped last Thursday. I was having a few
beers, I couldn't be bothered moving so I used the
release mechanism as a bottle opener.

(different episode)

RIMMER:(monotone voice) Is something amiss?
LISTER: Amiss? God no, what could possibly be amiss?
RIMMER: You don't think there's anything amiss?
I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked
gingham dress and army boots and you think that's
un-amiss?
CAT: No, of course not. It's just that we
thought you had gone nuts! We were humouring
you.
RIMMER: I was just doing a little test, a little test
to see if you had gone crazy.
CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Edit: Not the post either, I think it might be Kisu's AHHH!!
Last edited by peachvampiress on Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Post by Tiff » Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:27 pm

peachvampiress: You need to fix your sig, hun. It's making the forums side-scroll.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
-Friends

"In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn"
-Son of Man, Tarzan

"Why do we have to resort to nonviolence? Can’t we just kick their asses?"
-Leela, Futurama

~*Happily married to My Joe since 08/04/07*~

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