Those Rotton Parents

[Rindesayu]

Inspired by the latest few posts in the "This is going to be the worst Christmas ever" thread,here's a question--is there a parent in your house that you don't or didn't at one time get along with for whatever reason?I know it's probably a personal question for some,but I'd love to hear the thoughts of some who are willing to share their experiences with nasty parents.

Allow me to explain my mother.She is,in a word,insane--completely.She carries with her just about every psychological disorder commonly found in women these days(obsessive compulsive,low self-esteem,terrible mood swings,etc.)and she's so hot-tempered that if you make her mad enough,she'll swear like a sailor in a very childish manner and oftentimes even start throwing and breaking things around the house(and I'm not lying,either).She's been married to my dad(who's practically my best bud at home)for almost 15 years,and during this long period,she's done everything from insulting his appearance to threatening to beat the crap out of him to also threatening to call his work and make him lose his job just because she didn't get her way about something and wants revenge.I mean,my mom is just plain fucked up,and boy,does she ever show it...

...she has also messed up her life over the past couple years.Due to her irresponsibility,she lost her job as a dental assistant(yes,my psycho mom had a halfway decent job)about a year and a half ago,and somewhere around that time,she developed a methamphetamine habit.For those who don't know,methamphetamine is an addictive stimulant drug that's said to be 75 to 100X worse than cocaine.We don't know why or how she got into it,but our guess is that she did it because she was bored with her life,which brings me to another story...

...when I was little,my mom was a severe alcoholic,going to the bar a few times a week and getting drunk off her ass with a couple of other girlfriends.She drunk for a few years,and then stopped because she was tired of having hangovers and waking up sick every morning.She's almost never gotten drunk since,but the point is that her alcoholism was already enough to deal with,and now she's getting into crank-like stuff,which is even worse,and it really hurt our family when we finally found out about her habit a few months ago.I really lost trust in her,because as crazy as she already was,I knew she had to be a decent,kind lady on the inside,and she was still my mother.But...oh,how I felt regurgitating when I found out that she smoked that shit.

And now,after all that,all she ever does anymore is work a few days a week at a dinky matress warehouse with her best friend,stay up night after night without barely a wink of sleep(which results in her occasionally falling asleep all over the house),stay in the bathroom for hours a day picking at her face(she thinks she has tiny black hairs all over her facial area),and only do a few domestic/motherly chores like bathe the dog,make the beds,maybe wash a little laundry here and there,and make a nice dinner when she has the time.My mom needs to be in extensive,extensive therapy,I know,but we've tried everything--talking to her,family counciling,putting her in regular therapy for years,throwing comebacks at her verbal abuse,I mean,everything;and she's still as messed up as she's ever been.My dad is completely sick of it all(and so is my sister,who moved out a month ago)and wants to put an end to her bullcrap,but he can't find to the courage to seperate from her because he's torn between his resentment for her behavior and his desire to have a companion no matter what.He says,one day,a divorce will come,but I'm losing patience during my never-ending hour of waiting.

What about you guys?Do any of you not get along with your parents because of things they do?And sorry for making this post so excrutiatingly long.

[Tiff]

Allow me to explain my mother.She is,in a word,insane--completely.She carries with her just about every psychological disorder commonly found in women these days(obsessive compulsive,low self-esteem,terrible mood swings,etc.).

That's a bit stereotypical, and kind of insulting, IMO. Many, many men are obsessive compulsive, and terrible mood swings aren't a disorder, they're something natural that we cannot control becuase we menstruate and have babies. And low self esteem...that's psychological, emotional, and social all put together, and I think i'd have a low self esteem too if my children thought I was insane.

[DreamEmpress]

I can kind of understand the whole mom acts like she's nuts type of thing. Not to the extreme that you're talking about though. My mom is a nice little enigma that I've yet to understand. I've actually written a little about her in the Molestation/rape thread on all the garbage she had to deal with when she was younger.

I could write an entire 20 page essay on how much she drives me nuts. But I can also write a 30 page essay on how much she's done for my family and loves me and my autistic sister.

My mom tends to pout, never listens when you're trying to warn her about something (like when you see smoke and sparks coming out of the electric razor), yell about the dumbest things, and blame me for things that aren't really my fault. When I was a teenager, I knew it was bill time again because she'd start yelling at me for no reason at all.

However, she has also been there for me my whole life, listened whenever I've had a major problem and always managed to surprise me with loving gifts and acts of kindness.

Just last night, a friend of mine wanted to get together and watch anime for new year's eve. I told mom where I was going and she said I could go, but then pouted about how I didn't give her a lot of notice so she could change the dinner schedule and how I'm never home anymore. Just for the record of the court: I haven't been anywhere in over two weeks because of my leg injury and the first time I finally got to go anywhere was to my friends' house to watch LOTR I and II last friday night. I understand that I was giving short notice, but I'm an adult and my friends arent' exactly giving me a lot of notice either. I never understand how my mom wants me to have my own life, but at the same time want to restrict it and pout about it. Luckily just like with the movie party, I was able to calm her down about it and within 30 minutes she was very ok with the idea.

She and my dad also like to tease me whenever my friends are over to pick me up for anything. They tease me about my looks or what I'm taking with me. I love them dearly, but I really don't need that. Especially when it makes my friends uncomfortable about going to my house. It especially makes any boyfriends I have unhappy to have to hear me being teased like that.

I know they have to deal with a handicapped daughter and the thought of me not being home very much to help them is scary at times. I really try to look at the other side of the story, but it's so hard when I want my own life and freedom. For right now I'm making due with what I can.

Well, that's pretty much my story. I know it's not as severe as most others are, but I do understand a little bit. My friends have told me plenty of stories over the years about how crazy their parents get. I'm lucky to have a family that can be normal at least half of the time.

[Cardcaptor Takato]

My dad always yells and cusses about everything that goes wrong. Whenever he argues with my mother, he sounds like a little kid. Just the other day, they were fighting in the kitchen and I could hear him say "you started it!" I started mocking him, pretending to be a little kid by saying things like "Mom, she's staring at me! You started it!" and he threatened to beat me if I didn't shut up. Maybe I did deserve it, but it sickens me how much of a child he acts like sometimes. He really needs to learn some patience. Just a while back, we went on a family cruise and my dad kept yelling at the whole time whenever something went wrong. He even said he wanted everyone to go see a pyschatrist(spelling?) when we got back from the trip. Then, he turns around and acts all nice to you and tries to carry on a conversation with you.

He can't say anything to you without yelling at you or when you try to make a joke, it's only funny if you're making fun of someone. He calls my mother stupid and fatty all the time, even though he's pretty stupid and needs to loose some weight himself. I always despise going on family trips because of him. Last summer when we went to the Gulf Shores, he started yelling because we were leaving late (we were heading back home) and it was raining and he couldn't find his wallet (which he eventually found when he finally calmed down). He kept blaming everyone else for his problems and threatened to punch me in the nose and send me to the hospital if I didn't shut up (I was trying to help find the wallet and calm him down at the same time).

My dad always contradicts himself, too. He tells me that I don't need to get a job because I can always come to him whenever I need something and when you do, he always says no. Then, when he was actually nice to order a movie for me online that I couldn't find at the stores, he started yelling about how I should get a job and buy stuff with my own money. I know that when I do get a job, I'm not spending a single cent on him for his birthday or Father's Day.

It really sickens me because my dad is a deacon at our church and aren't you supposed to be "slow to speak"? This one lady at church called us and told me over the phone (I had to answer it because I was the only one at home that time) that she thought my dad would make a good deacon. I was just about to laugh in her face (though I couldn't because it was over the phone). Whenever we go to a church devonational and they're studying about taming the tongue and stuff, my dad always starts talking and agreeing with what everyone says and nods his head and acts like a hypocrite, so that also gets on my nerves.I don't hate my mother at all. The only thing that gets on my nerves is that she's hard at hearing and oftne forgetful, so we call her "Dori" (because she's just like the character "Dori" from Disney's Finding Nemo of how she forgets everything in five seconds).

[yoshmaster5]

I've already said things on my topic... and what happens.

My parents take everything out on me and my sister. They can be nice, but there is that thing. My mom kind of agrees with my dad about EVERYTHING. She will say my sister can do something, and my dad will kind of yell at her, or glare, and mom will change to what my DAD thinks. My dad has temper problems. He will get mad over a TON of things. For instance, yesterday, I was at my uncles, and they wouldn't let me bring in my GCN and accesories until I ask. Dad also hadn't gotten his coat but I didn't know that. so when i went to the car, dad was going with me. I thought that he was just following me to make sure I was getting ONLY my memory cards. no, he was going to get his coat and he thought I had a bad attitude because of that. I was saying I could get my stuff myself, but he went nuts when I didn't know he didn't have his coat.
While I was skiing *which is why I haven't been on this board for 6-7 days* my uncle Ron had arrived and was skiing with my parents, my cousin Nick, and myself. my mom told me to ONLY go on greens. so I did. i only went on GREEN paths, but then when my parents got to where Nick and I were *I ski REALLY fast* she went nuts BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAKE THE LONGEST WAY DOWN! She claimed she said to take the longest way down. She NEVER said that. She just said to go on GREENS. my parents are nuts.

They also overreact to my sisters and my grades. I get a 90 on a test, this is them: "you can do better" I get 95 on a test: "You can do better"

My sister and I will never be good enough in their standards. They annoy me so much... They will even get pissed off for losing about 20 minutes of worktime. I hate it when they do things like that. I hate them at times...

[Akarui Kibuno]

This thread reminds me of so many things... I am happy, though, in some way, to see that you all are confident enough to share things like that, too. I wouldn't post my story everywhere, but it seems that here is so different that you feel like posting.

My parents aren't that different from many. I mean, I get fed, I have a home, and such. I have problems with both parents, though my dad is the biggest problem.

He has five daughters (me eldest, 20, youngest, nearly 5 months old as showed on my Christmas pictures) and never really noticed us. Never really showed he knew he has daughters. Oh, it's not cause he's ill or something, it's just out of selfishness. Like he might not buy something we all like to eat cause we're too much and he likes it too and there won't be much left for him. Or like my sister will say she wants to watch TV some evening, and on that one he'll start taping something or watching something, preventing my sister from using the TV.

He's also alcoholic, and is even treated for... diabetes ? is that the word ? and since the treatment started, he hasn't stopped eating cakes, and fat things. We told him to stop cause he's ill, but he doesn't care, neither about his case nor about our opinion about it.

My parents have been married for 21 years now, and it's been at least ten years since my mom thought about a divorce. Cause my dad yells for no reason whatsoever... and quite often. These days, it's mostly when my mother wants to start dialogue. He knows he's done something wrong (always brings us down, things like that, I know I can get over it pretty easily but one of my sisters tried to commit suicide two years ago because of this and other things), the thing is, when my mother simply says something like "I would like to discuss some things with you" he starts yelling like she has attacked him. So they can't talk, and we can't resolve our problems. Money problems (mostly because of him and his selfishness) and his health problems.

And now that I have a boyfriend who has his own flat, I'm trying to get out of the house as often as I can. My mother and my sisters don't understand this, they think I'm abandoning them. Which is not the case. It's not that I don't like them, but being my age, I have to build my own life without them. Though I'm scared everyday that my dad will do something stupid... I don't want to lose any of my sisters. I know he could do that, a long time ago he almost strangled me and I got "saved" cause I apologized (I still don't understand what I had to apologize for).

And I'll explain how I got over it, maybe you guys will manage to do the same if you hadn't found a solution. I'm not saying you have to do it though because everyone has their way of getting over things. Well, I simply consider my father as a "genitor", I think it's the word. I consider I have no father, cause a father gives loves, a father cares, things like that. A father knows he has children and doesn't bring them down all the time, saying they're fat, or will never find a man (heck, even I found one). I have abandoned the hope of getting along with him. I have abandoned the hope to have a real father, and the "male model" I need, well, I sort of find it with male older friends that I have, or with my boyfriend, though I only see him as a boyfriend of course.

I won't make this longer by saying everything about my mother, with whom I've always had a good relation since I started going out with my boyfriend. On one side, she says she's do anything for us being able to be together (like taking me to his apartment by car or helping me buy the train ticket) but on the other, she doesn't believe in us, and thinks we won't last long.


Gaahh, life is too complicated! I'm happy I have friends and people I know online, cause other than that, I guess my head would have exploded already...