Mind if I ask a hypothetical question?

jupiter23 · Post by **jupiter23** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:28 pm

I'm seeking a guy's opinion on this, but any and all answers from anyone are welcome.

So say there's this person you've been dating (or married to or whatever suits you). For some reason the two of you have to split up, but you both still love each other and know that one day you will be able to get back together again, but you know it just can't happen right now. Then one day, a mutual friend of yours who knows what's going on and has previously expressed understanding at the situation goes and asks your significant other out. You know they most likely won't accept anyway, but still, how would you feel about this? How do you think your significant other feels about it as well?

Post by **Tiff** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:23 pm

o.O I'm not entirely sure I understand the situation between you and your significant other (I'm assuming this is your scenario, and not someone's hypothetical situation).

Therefore, it kind of makes it hard for me to understand this post as a whole..

From what I can gather, though, I'd say your friend is a complete jerk. They know you love this guy and that you just had to break up with him, and they jump on asking him out? That's just..not cool. The least they could have done was talk to you first and see if you were okay with it.

As for how your SO would feel..well, it all depends on if he feels the same way you do. Does he still love you/want to be with you? Or is he already "over it" and ready to date other people?

Again, I don't entirely get the situation between you and the SO, so...

jupiter23 · Post by **jupiter23** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:13 pm

I was vague on the details because they aren't details I'm willing to disclose publicly (PM me if you want to know what's going on to form a better opinion, there are very few others that I will give them to), and I also didn't think they really mattered to the situation at hand.

However, if you want some clarity to it, I was the one that got asked out. I am still in love with him and he does still love me. What I'm trying to figure out is how he (my SO) would feel if he knew, and I'm almost certain he knows nothing about it. I intend to tell him as soon as I can, but I want to know how he would feel so I can better handle the other guy if it comes to a confrontation.

Yeah, it's screwed up, I know, but I've also never been in this kind of situation. That's why I'm so worried.

Post by **Tiff** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:35 pm

jupiter23 wrote:I was vague on the details because they aren't details I'm willing to disclose publicly (PM me if you want to know what's going on to form a better opinion, there are very few others that I will give them to), and I also didn't think they really mattered to the situation at hand.

Which is fine, it just made the story confusing for me, that's all.

However, if you want some clarity to it, I was the one that got asked out. I am still in love with him and he does still love me. What I'm trying to figure out is how he (my SO) would feel if he knew, and I'm almost certain he knows nothing about it. I intend to tell him as soon as I can, but I want to know how he would feel so I can better handle the other guy if it comes to a confrontation.

Yeah, it's screwed up, I know, but I've also never been in this kind of situation. That's why I'm so worried.

...and now I'm even more confused. >_>;

Senshi_of_Vision · Post by **Senshi_of_Vision** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:41 pm

K what I gather is either a mutual friend of both of your is trying to get with you or with him and either way thats not right. Even if the relationship ended on bad terms a friend should think twice before getting into a relationship with anyone their friends have previously dated. It can make for a very awkward situation if A) the relationship ended badly (which is not your case I know) or B) there is potential for the relationship to start up again. I think for this situation if its the male persuing you that he should back off. or if its a female persuing your ex that you should convey to her that it may not be a comfortable situation.

Then again im a 30 year old divorcee so im not really that good on relationships I just know that most of my friends would never try to get with my ex even though he has a snow balls chance in hades of getting me back.