Rape/Molestation

yamijounouchi · Post by **yamijounouchi** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 8:18 pm

i believe--and, whitewolf, correct me if i'm wrong--he was saying after reading this thread he would rather kill himself than put someone through something like that.

Anthy · Post by **Anthy** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 1:56 pm

Let's not freak out here; whitewolf's post was worded rather strangely. What did you mean?

Parallax · Post by **Parallax** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 2:28 pm

After reading your stories, I have a newfound deep respect and admiration for all of you ladies. Your inner strength is inspiring. If something like what happend you happened to any of my four sisters, the rapist would have three VERY angy brothers coming after him, and we don't care if we break the law in nailing the perp.

NekoSun518 · Post by **NekoSun518** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 7:00 pm

I just found this topic and my reaction to it is...wow. All of you who shared your stories, your all so strong and brave. You give me the courage to get through the shit in my life even though its not the same thing. I wanna share the story of my absolute best friends family. I've known this girl for about 5 years know and I've grown to love her and her family like their my own family. One day we were just talking and she shared with me that when she was young she had been molested by her uncle I believe. She had to go to a therapist for it. She didn't remember much of the incident, but to this day she has trouble trusting people, especially guys. After she told me that I wanted to cry because it had happened to her. Then she went on to tell me that her grandmother had been raped and also that her mother had been raped (my friend wasn't the product of this rape). I wanted to kill the bastards that did that to them. I consider her mom my mom and it makes me want to cry to think that she was raped. I honestly want to hurt the people that did that to them so badly. This didn't happen to my real family but its close enough. Rapists deserve life in prison because they destroy families and destroy people. *Hugs for all you strong peoples out there that have had to deal with such things*

DreamEmpress · Post by **DreamEmpress** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 3:25 am

I'm pretty sure most of you are getting sick of my replies to this thread by now. (that seemed obvious at some points) I'm hoping this will be the last time anyone hears from me on this topic. First off, I'd like to thank everyone who stood by me and let me bare my soul to you. Those few months between November and June were the hardest of my life. Not to mention the scariest....

Last June my family moved into our new house. I was just as excited as everyone else. It felt like a brand new start, a new chapter in my life. Anyway, while we were unpacking everything in the garage, I found two dolls. These dolls were the ones given to me by my attacker. A little gift to insure that we'd keep quiet. Mom thought we had gotten rid of them when I was younger, but it turned out that they had gotten thrown in a bag and forgotten for almost two decades.

I can't possibly describe what was going through my mind at that time. All I really remember was fear that my autistic sister would find the dolls and want to keep them. She wouldn't have understood their meaning. I still believe those dolls carry an evil aura around them. I told my mom I had found them, but all she was concerned about was never hearing it again. Needless to say, that cut me to the core.

I tossed the dolls in a bag and threw them in the garbage. i was tempted to stab and burn them, but only after the fact. My first response was to dispose of them forever.

Only two people know about this, and now all of you. I know this all sounds silly and not very important, but I just want to share this with someone who will understand. For the first time in my life, there aren't rabbit drawings on the walls reminding me of something I can barely remember or dolls taunting me. I finally feel like I have found the missing piece of the puzzle that will allow me to be free and leave everything behind.

Once again, thank you so much. I feel so lucky to have people to go to for support.

Post by **Tiff** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 7:32 am

DreamEmpress: No, sweetie. This is a place for you to let that sort of thing out. If people do not want to read it, they can simply go to another thread. I myself am glad you have the strength do talk about it more and more.

Iknow exactly how you feel. Sometimes I'll stumble across pictures of The Bastard, becuase there were times when my whole group of friends would get togther and he was included. I sort of tense up, and feel that horrible feeling that you felt when you saw the dolls. These reactions are normal, and it shows that you're only human.

*Hugs*

whitewolf05 · Post by **whitewolf05** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 9:51 am

yamijounouchi wrote:i believe--and, whitewolf, correct me if i'm wrong--he was saying after reading this thread he would rather kill himself than put someone through something like that.

thats correct.

mizangelamy · Post by **mizangelamy** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 6:50 pm

From all the stories that I read on the fourm about rape or any sexual assult that made me sick that could be those kind of guys in the world that we shouldn't forgive them instead cut their balls and cook them as tacos (sorry I'm so mad from those stories). So far I haven't been through that thank god but it made me think twice for who should I trust now. I'm so glad you ladies or gentlemen share with us those stories that this kind of thing it won't happen again to anyone else. From what I read that took alot of guts to tell somebody some would be ashamed and blame on themselfs saying that's their fault but really is not their fault it's the person who did it. May god bless all of you who are still in pain and I'm truely sorry for what happen to you people.

LadyFlameSniper · Post by **LadyFlameSniper** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:06 pm

I'm surprised I never made a comment on this thread. It's very strong of you for you all to share those experiences. I can't imagine what it would be like to deal with rape or molestation. Rape always worried me, and even more in my area nowadays because there have been an increasing amount of sexual assualt and rape crimes at my college. And sometimes the crime doesn't seem to be taken seriously enough. Fortunately I've never been in such a situation, not anybody close to me. I've only faced sexual harrassment (both verbal and physical). The most recent case was yesterday as a matter of fact, but I don't think this is the place for it.

whitewolf05 · Post by **whitewolf05** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:08 am

Tiff wrote:
whitewolf05 wrote:To all of you who had to go through that I express my deepest sympathies. (even though you most likly are sick and tired of it) Just so you all now, if I ever end up rapeing a girl its going to be a "thats all she wrote for me" and there would be no backing down.
......what in the name of the nine hells are you trying to say?

The "If I ever end up raping a girl" part just plain disturbs me. Please clarify what you're saying before I take it the wrong way and get completely angry.

What I am saying is if I were to lets say get drunk and raped a girl (not likely because I hate alcohol) or get high, in other words find myself not in control, and rape or hurt a girl I would end it right there.

DreamEmpress · Post by **DreamEmpress** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:49 am

My life feels like a never ending ride on this thread.

Tiff: I reread your kind words on here from last time and I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. It helps me to be able to feel like I do have a place to come to when I'm down.

I recieved an email last night from a friend of the family. He had forwarded an announcement from our bishop to me and I've been in shock ever since.

The man who molested me died last saturday. I just found out yesterday.... What are you supposed to feel in a situation like this?

At first I was so happy that I did a little dance. The fear was lifted from my shoulders of ever having to run into him again. But after a few hours, now I'm just so numb and confused. It's hard to describe. I know a part of me feels guilty for being happy that someone is dead, no matter how sick they were. Another part of me says it's ok to be happy, that I have every right to feel that way. Another part of me wants to go down to his grave after the funeral and just yell at him for every sick and twisted thing he's done to me and for all that I've gone through because of it.

I've waited 19 years for this day and for the life of me, I don't know what to do now. Maybe i'm just being dumb, I don't know.

I'm sorry, I'm babbling. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Getting it out there at least lets me feel a bit better. All that I ask is no one please tell me to just stop whining and move on. This has been hard enough to deal with as it is. Believe me, i am trying to do that. Anyway, thanks again.

Post by **Tiff** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 12:59 pm

DreamEmpress: You're welcome, and I meant every bit of what I said.

It's not a bad thing that you were happy, and felt calmed by his death. It's as you said...fear was lifted from your shoulders. The fear of running into said person, or said person coming to you is gone. It does not make you a bad person to be glad that this fear is gone, however the means.

I'm glad you're feeling this, becuase maybe now you can heal even moreso than you have. And you'er always welcome to share things like this, without fear of judgement or persecution. *Hugs*

RoastedTwinkies · Post by **RoastedTwinkies** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 7:32 pm

It's been over a year since I graduated from high school. I haven't seen most of the people I went to high school with since our graduation night last year. This made me reflect on my life and a bunch of memories started flooding back to me, stuff that I hadn't thought about in years. Some memories were wonderful, memories that I had forgotten about and cherish so deeply, but other downright horrible memories flooded back to me as well.

One memory that I did not want to remember was when I was in kindergarten. A boy in my class had sexually assaulted me during recess, by sticking his hand down my pants and feeling me up. I had cried to my teacher and told my parents who then came to the school the next day. My dad found the kid who did it and yelled at him to stay away from me.

However, the school did not take action. Apparently, the kid was known to have done this kind of stuff before. It apalls me really that a five year old kid would know about that kind of stuff, which tells me that he must have been sexually abused in some way too, either by being molested or being exposed to a tape with adult content on it. It would be anything.

Today, I still feel violated looking back on what had happened. I'm still pissed off that the school didn't do anything about the situation. The reason why I didn't post this earlier is because I didn't remember being violated like this. I had blocked this entirely from my memory and I had no recollection of it whatsoever until during my first year in college, when it hit me suddenly. But it isn't a bad thing that I blocked it out entirely. It just made it easier for me to cope with I think.

DreamEmpress · Post by **DreamEmpress** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 4:07 am

There are no words in the world to describe how sick I think that is for a little kid to do such a thing to another. But when you're so young, schools and others seem to think that it's merely a phase and that there's nothing to worry about. (if they have another reason, I'd sure like to know what it is) It can be extremely frustrating.

I can understand blocking out memories. I did it for years. There's parts of my attack that I still don't remember, probably never will. I'm happier not remembering it. However, I don't think it's healthy to block out everything. That only leaves a hurt deep inside you that without your knowledge can fester and could manifest itself at any time. if you can, it's best to get your feelings out.

For the first few years I blocked it out and called it coping. Unfortunatly when it finally resurfaced, I had so much hurt, that I couldn't handle it. In my case, it's taken years to finally know that the memory is there, but the hurt isn't so dominating. That alone makes it easier to file it away and go on.

on a side note: I know how frustrating schools can be to little kids. My elementary school wouldn't believe my mom when I had gotten my first booster shot, so after school on my first day of kindergarden I had to get another one. I'm still pretty steamed about that one. I don't remember much about that day except the whole session with the shot. *sigh*

Rivalee · Post by **Rivalee** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:43 am

During April 2003, I took the bus from school earlier since I had migraine. When I arrived in my hometown, a man (I call him Creep) walked up to me and asked for the way to the hospital. I described the way as good as I could and started to walk home. Suddenly, he walked up to me again and started to talk to me, asking how old I was. I told him that I was 19, and he said that he was 25 [according to someone I know, Creep was actually around 45. He didn't look so old, but he didn't look like 25 either]. Then, one of my neighbors showed up in his car and asked where my big brother (I call him Tom) was. I said that he was probably home and the neighbor left, as I started to walk again.
Out of a sudden, Creep asked me to follow him home, but I said that I had to go home and do my homework. He continued to ask, and I continued to say that I couldn't. He even took my hand and stroke his hand over my cheek, saying I was sexy. That freaked me out, but still I couldn't tell him to leave me alone , and I couldn't run away, since my ankle hurted a little since I tripped while in school.
Outside of my apartment, he suddenly kissed me on the mouth. I panic and told him to go away. Then I went into my apartment and told my mom and Tom that a man had followed me. They went to see who the man was...and bumped into him in the hall!
Creep had followed me inside and was on his way to take off his jacket. Mom and Tom totally freaked and told him to get the hell out. Mom then told the police, but they couldn't do anything since we didn't have any proof. The neighbor blamed himself since he could had given me a ride home, but I don't blame him at all for that.

A few days later, I was playing video games, when it suddenly rang on the door and mom opened. It was Creep again. I almost pee in my pants when I heard his voice, but I didn't go out into the hall since I was scared as hell. Mom was trying to remember where she had seen him before, but she couldn't. Not until he asked about me. Then mom recognized him and once again she told him to get lost.

Since then, I haven't see or heard of Creep, but I've learned how to handle that kind of guys, even if I end up hiding somewhere safe if they don't quit.

Well, that's all I had to tell.

RoastedTwinkies · Post by **RoastedTwinkies** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 12:02 am

DreamEmpress wrote:There are no words in the world to describe how sick I think that is for a little kid to do such a thing to another. But when you're so young, schools and others seem to think that it's merely a phase and that there's nothing to worry about. (if they have another reason, I'd sure like to know what it is) It can be extremely frustrating.

I can understand blocking out memories. I did it for years. There's parts of my attack that I still don't remember, probably never will. I'm happier not remembering it. However, I don't think it's healthy to block out everything. That only leaves a hurt deep inside you that without your knowledge can fester and could manifest itself at any time. if you can, it's best to get your feelings out.

For the first few years I blocked it out and called it coping. Unfortunatly when it finally resurfaced, I had so much hurt, that I couldn't handle it. In my case, it's taken years to finally know that the memory is there, but the hurt isn't so dominating. That alone makes it easier to file it away and go on.

on a side note: I know how frustrating schools can be to little kids. My elementary school wouldn't believe my mom when I had gotten my first booster shot, so after school on my first day of kindergarden I had to get another one. I'm still pretty steamed about that one. I don't remember much about that day except the whole session with the shot. *sigh*

Thanks for your support. That definately explains why sometimes I would get nasty feelings coming out of nowhere. Sometimes I felt the urge to hurt those that I love and care about out of nowhere (but I restrained myself from doing so and felt guilty for even thinking those things). I kept wondering where all the nasty feelings were coming and couldn't figure out where. But this definately explains why I was getting nasty feelings out of nowhere.

What pisses me off is that my parents couldn't go to the police. In Canada, kids under the age of 13 are exempt from getting a criminal record and can't even go to juvenile hall for breaking the law. For kids 13 and over, we have what is called the Young Offenders Act where kids between the ages of 13 and 17 will get criminal records. But even if they do get a criminal record under the Young Offenders Act, it's basically wiped clean by the time they are 18. The law in Canada doesn't really crack down on people until they are 18. Which means that the kid who molested me got off scott-free.

#1SailorMoonFan · Post by **#1SailorMoonFan** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:51 am

I personally have never had anything happen to me, but my heart goes out to everyone has had this happen to them. Like others who have posted on here, I got angry when I found out this happened to my friend. Now, what happened to my friend is very awkward. When she was 3 years old, she was consistently molested by her baby sitter's 10 year old daughter. I was shocked that a 10 year old would do something like that. I wanted to hurt that girl, but I realized causing more pain isn't going to help anything.

Post by **Tiff** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:57 am

For a 10 year old to do that...either that child herself has experienced some sort of sexual trauma/other kind of trauma and is acting out through what she's done to the three year old, or the 10 year old has some sort of problem that could probably be explored through therapy.

Panda · Post by **Panda** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:30 pm

This thread... wow.

Well, my story isn't as traumatic but it happened. (Names changed because it's cool to do that...)

When I was about six or seven years old my mother become friends (and is still friends with) with a woman who went to the same church as us. Grace was married and had two children. A girl my older sisters age and boy my age. I would go over to their house frequently to play with their son in their basement.

One day when I was about eight, me, the son and the father. The son went into the other room and the I remember the first time the father touched me. It was very brief, he at first would only touch my back and sometimes my legs.

As time went on he became more serious about his actions. Holding me in his lap and stroking my hair, sliding his hands up and down my legs softly. I was very young and sheletered at the time so I thought it was fine.

This went on for years, until the day before I moved to Texas (I was eleven at the time). He had divorced his wife and had taken me, his son, and his new girlfriend to the local amusement park. The girlfriend and his son decided to go on a rollarcoaster and me and the father waited patiently for them to finish. During that time, he stood behind me, grabbed onto my shoulders and few times, playfully spanked me, sat close to me on a bench... All minor things, no one really noticed either. Probably looked like a father and daughter then.

I moved and never saw him again. We still keep in touch with the son and mother but I wouldn't tell either of them (or anyone for that matter) for fear of hurting them. It doesn't really bother me but I sometimes think it has a little to do with why I don't make friends with guys as easily as girls.

Post by **AnimeGuru0** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:54 pm

Panda - Umm, do you think that possibly this man meant you no ill will or harm? Maybe he was just innocently being a nice guy and treating you like one of his kids. From what you've said, personally, I don't see that he did anything wrong. And if it was making you uncomfortable you should have just politely asked him to stop. Considering he never really did anything lewd maybe he was just an affectionate kind of person. Heck, I've been touched by probably thousands of people, sometimes in an affectionate manner, sometimes just a simple handshake, 99.9999% of the time there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, maybe this man shouldn't have been so affectionate with you as it was in poor judgement considering what others might think, but in context maybe it wasn't so out of place. I've had people who were not my mom and dad give me hugs/kisses/whatever. As long as it is in the right context it's alright.

I'm not saying this guy is good/bad/right/wrong, I'm just saying maybe, considering he never did anything wrong, to give him the benefit of the doubt, that he was deep down a good person that meant you no harm. Not saying you shouldn't be careful, but also too many people are far too quick to shout out abuse/rape/molestation when in reality it was nothing of the sort. I could give a 5 year old kid a hug at church and be accused of child molestation, and that's not fair if I haven't done anything wrong, for example.