Bad Parenting.

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Bad Parenting.

Post by Tiff » Wed Jul 14, 2004 9:43 pm

No, I'm not talking about abuse or the like. I'm talking about the kid of parents who let their kids get away with murder.

And what better way to witness these types of parents than working in retail?

It never fails to amaze me how some parents completely lack the concept of discipline or lack the spine to dish it out.

Share your stories here, your accounts of seeing such examples of bad parenting, of a complete lack of discipline in public (or even in the comfort of their own homes).

(Note: This is not thep lace to piss and moan about how awful your parents are.)

My own examples:

Today, a woman came in with her three songs, ranging in ages 3-6. They go to the ice cream counter (where tiffu gets to joyfully spend her working days), and the following dialog ensues:

6 year old kid: I want this flavor, this one, and and this one.
Mom: No, we're only getting one flavor each, dear.
6 year old kid: But I want this, this, and this.
Mom: Sweetie, that's three flavors.
6 year old kid: *rolls his eyes* SO WHAT? I want THESE three. *Crosses arms and looks at mom expectently*
Mom: *chuckles* Oh, all right. *looks at tiffu* Give us a triple dip for him, then.
Tiffu: *utterly disgusted you-have-to-be-kidding-me look* ...okay.

The children proceed to go to the small tables we have to eat their ice cream (and the 6 year old can barely control his damn triple dip). Mom sits down with them...and proceeds to let the 3 year old bang his cone upon the tabletop like a drumstick. Not only does she let him do this without so much as a "please, stop that", but she thinks it's the cutest thing ever. Yes, real fucking cute when I have to clean up the vanilla ice cream he's flinging everywhere.

Little 3 year old then proceeds to run around madl yin the store, as she continues to eat her ice cream. She gets up only once, to drag him back inside as he speeds out the exit door.

Oh, and did I mention the 6 year old did NOT finish the giant ice cream cone?

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Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by RoastedTwinkies » Wed Jul 14, 2004 9:53 pm

Ugh, out of control brats annoy me so much.

My friend told me that she went to a wedding and some parents just HAD to bring their toddlers to it. Well, this little 2 year old decided to punch the wedding cake. The stupid mother did nothing but say, 'aww, how cute! Now you got your fingers all sticky!'

My neighbours finally moved out and I couldn't be happier. The parents don't know how to control their kids. I five year old kept running up and down the sidewalk with a stroller with a little baby in it. The kid was not careful and it looked like the stroller was going to fall over. The stupid mother did nothing. Also her kids are constantly screaming outside in the front as if a murder was going on, when there was nothing going on at all. My parents work night shift and sleep during the daytime, and because it's summer and hot, they keep their window open and they had to close it because they were forced to put up with that crap. I felt sorry for my parents. I'm go glad the neighbours finally moved out.

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Post by peachvampiress » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:12 pm

:glomps the all wise Tiffu: Yes, God yes, you are so right! People don't seem to notice this, but NOT punishing your kids has the same affect as abusing them. My brother's grandma is the same way (my brother's adopted so were not related to her). She is the nicest woman I know, very kind and very curteous, but she has never disiplined her kids. As far as I know, she has an adult daughter who's a heroine addict, and an adult son who's a lazy ass cheap skate idiot (I've talked with him -_- and all I have to say is Ho.Ly. Fuck he's stupid)

My brother's Grandma is raising her grandaughter. She's two years younger then me and is one of the rudest people I've met. Let's just skip over the fact that she is allowed to dress like a skank, can't answer anyone politely and without attitude, and gets away with anything.

My family had the BIG family reunion (at least 40 people) two summers ago in Kelowna on the lakeside and this is a short list of her behaviour:
-giving a snotty attitude to my grandfather (which REALLY pissed off my dad)
-following me everywhere when I was trying to catch up with my cousins
-complaining that their was nothing to do (their was tubing, swimming, bowling, volleyball, the big traditional game of tag and/or capture the flag, etc.) She expected us to entertain her
-random bitchiness
-then when we dropped her off back home, she nearly cuts my fingers off. We were driving in my family's Durango and I had to sit in the very back with her infront of me. Now, I can't get out unless someone flips the front seat down (the seat she was sitting on). She gets out of the car, I ask her to put the seat down. She doesn't so I try to reach forward to do it myself, she SLAMS the door closed and I try to get my hand back in time so that it doesn't slam on my hand. I ended up losing half my long nail and yelled at her.

So yes, not disiplining your kids is very bad. When I have kids, I'm going to beat their asses, but in a loving "I'm doing this for your own good" kind of way ~_^.

Roasted Twinkies
My friend told me that she went to a wedding and some parents just HAD to bring their toddlers to it. Well, this little 2 year old decided to punch the wedding cake. The stupid mother did nothing but say, 'aww, how cute! Now you got your fingers all sticky!'
:shock: If some little bastard did that at my wedding, them and their parents would be learning to breath without cardilage.
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Post by Tiff » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:18 pm

peachvampiress wrote:
Roasted Twinkies
My friend told me that she went to a wedding and some parents just HAD to bring their toddlers to it. Well, this little 2 year old decided to punch the wedding cake. The stupid mother did nothing but say, 'aww, how cute! Now you got your fingers all sticky!'
:shock: If some little bastard did that at my wedding, them and their parents would be learning to breath without cardilage.
I thought the EXACT same thing.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by RoastedTwinkies » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:26 pm

Tiff wrote:
peachvampiress wrote:
Roasted Twinkies
My friend told me that she went to a wedding and some parents just HAD to bring their toddlers to it. Well, this little 2 year old decided to punch the wedding cake. The stupid mother did nothing but say, 'aww, how cute! Now you got your fingers all sticky!'
:shock: If some little bastard did that at my wedding, them and their parents would be learning to breath without cardilage.
I thought the EXACT same thing.
That's exactly what I was thinking. If it was my wedding, I would definately ask the family to leave.

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Post by AnimeGuru0 » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:30 pm

Urgh, I hate those type of parents (as described by Tiff). Seriously, these people do NOT deserve to pass along their genes. I bet you they were not disciplined when they were kids either. I dunno, but my philosophy has ALWAYS been to have the upmost courtesy and regard for those around me.

Unfortunately, we're in an age where selfishness and "I'm the center of the universe" is predominant. It seems especially prevalent in the extreme upper and lower classes. The extreme upper class thinks that they are better than everyone else and they deserve things before others, while the extreme lower class has the general "don't tread on me" attitude, which includes polite smiles, waves, polite comments, and things of the like (I'm not stereotyping, there are exceptions to the rule, this is just a general trend that I've noticed).

All of the "Bad parenting" I've seen seems to come from this extreme lower class. While at the DMV, I see a mother and 3 kids come in and the mother waiting for her turn to talk to a DMV person (which can take up to 3 hours) and just letting her kids RUN WILD through the DMV. This is the "I have kids and don't really give a crap" category. These seem to be the most annoying, and the ones I see the most often. They're the ones that'd probably forget that they had kids if they didn't follow them around so much (being dependant and everything). The other kind I see are the "Overtly abusive kind". I (for some strange reason) see this kind at the post office a lot. Where the kid, being perfectly well behaved, asks something along the lines of "Mommy, what's this?" and the mom proceeds to SCREAM at the kid and SMACK SMACK SMACK him or her on the back of the head or backside and SCREAMS at him to shut the F*** up before she beats the sh** out of him. Unlike the "I really don't give a crap I have kids" group, this is the "I hate my children and hope they die so I don't have to deal with them anymore" group. I feel so horrible when I see these poor children. I always want to stand up and tell the mom (as it is 99% a mom in my experience observing this) off, but I never have the nerve.

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Post by peachvampiress » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:40 pm

RoastedTwinkies
That's exactly what I was thinking. If it was my wedding, I would definately ask the family to leave.
ASK to LEAVE? I would have skipped the "asking", gone straight to the "You fucking idiots" speech, and grabbed the kid and lynched him. The parents would have been leaving on a stretcher (little known fact about the Peach, when she's mad, she's goes for the throat ^_^).

But Tiff's talk about this happening in retail reminded me that I actually did work breifly in a bakery for a month (-_- never again).
Their was this one time I was cleaning up and this mother comes in with her three year old who proceeds to run up to all the cookies going "I want this, and this, and this, and this, and this etc." And the mother goes "Oh, and who's going to pay for all of this." The kid of course goes "You are". The mom goes "you don't need all of those". The kid of course throws a fit and the mom gives in asking for a shite load of cookies, I think it was about 15-20.
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Post by Sailorasteroid » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:41 pm

Out of curiosity, how old were these mothers allowing the children to run wild and free? My gut tells me they're young mothers.

Now, while I agree with the general sentiment that disciplne should be enforced on children, I don't think it's right to teach them not to want things. I hope my children will be as selfish as they can be, with the caveat that they know they have to earn whatever they take. If we can keep the childish desires while giving them the means to satisfy them through their own work, then I think children will be the happiest. If the child really wants that triple-scoop ice cream, let him earn an allowance by mowing lawns. And when he sees how far a dollar will go, he'll probably forgo the two extra scoops in favor of saving for a Playstation game or something.
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Post by RoastedTwinkies » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:42 pm

AnimeGuru0 wrote:The other kind I see are the "Overtly abusive kind". I (for some strange reason) see this kind at the post office a lot. Where the kid, being perfectly well behaved, asks something along the lines of "Mommy, what's this?" and the mom proceeds to SCREAM at the kid and SMACK SMACK SMACK him or her on the back of the head or backside and SCREAMS at him to shut the F*** up before she beats the sh** out of him.
That's so horrible. I've rarely seen that type of thing, but when I do, I feel so badly for the kids. Next time I see that, I will tell the parent off.

I just remembered, when I worked at McDonald's two years ago, this one guy kept coming back all the time. He looked like a hick (this is Alberta, what do you expect?!); he had really really long hair and both he and his kids kids were dirty every day they came in. He bought his kids happy meals every day when they came in to lunch! It's not so much bad dicipline, but what kind of message do you think he's sending them? It's not okay to eat McDonald's every day for lunch.

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Post by KoiNoVash » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:44 pm

I work at a day camp, I see this sort of thing every day. Too many instances to really talk about, but it drives me insane knowing that these kids wouldn't be so out of control if they only got dicipline from their parents.

But the best is when they grow up. At the Japanese club at my college there was this punk highschooler that would always hang out with the club, we didn't really mind at first because it is fun having lots of members. The thing that irked us was the fact that he would ask the members over the age of 21 to buy him beer, hit on every girl that was around so long as their boyfriend wasn't, smoked pot and claimed that there were no harmful effects on the body (it's like smoking 20 cigarettes at once!), and his mom just one day bought him a ticket to Japan so he could go by himself. The best part about that was the fact that even though he knew a little about the culture, we knew that he would get lost fairly quickly because he didn't speak a word of Japanese.
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Post by Tiff » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:47 pm

Sailorasteroid wrote:Out of curiosity, how old were these mothers allowing the children to run wild and free? My gut tells me they're young mothers.

Now, while I agree with the general sentiment that disciplne should be enforced on children, I don't think it's right to teach them not to want things. I hope my children will be as selfish as they can be, with the caveat that they know they have to earn whatever they take. If we can keep the childish desires while giving them the means to satisfy them through their own work, then I think children will be the happiest. If the child really wants that triple-scoop ice cream, let him earn an allowance by mowing lawns. And when he sees how far a dollar will go, he'll probably forgo the two extra scoops in favor of saving for a Playstation game or something.
In my experience, the mothers are usually older, actually...30's-40's. Most young mothers that come into the store are atually quite level-headed and decent in their discipline.

And I'm sorry, but you're completely missing the point of my (and peachvampiress's) stories. If he wants the damn triple scoop, he can pay for it himself. The point was the ATTITUDE he got with his mother. His mother deserves respect, not the attitude this little shithead gave her. Same with the cookie child. It isn't WANTING something that's bad, sailorasteroid. It's throwing a fit for it, or copping an attitude, or DEMANDING it.
That's so horrible. I've rarely seen that type of thing, but when I do, I feel so badly for the kids. Next time I see that, I will tell the parent off.
Sadly enough, when I see shit like that in the store, I can't say shit for fear of losing my job. I cannot stand to see that sort of abuse, either.

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Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
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Post by LadyFlameSniper » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:50 pm

Tiff wrote: It isn't WANTING something that's bad, sailorasteroid. It's throwing a fit for it, or copping an attitude, or DEMANDING it.
Or in other words being a straight up spoiled brat. >_> The mother sounds like a total doormat in your story, Tiff.

Parents can't let their kids do what they want and give all the time because the kids will take their parents' gifts and favors for granted. And on the rare occassions these parents don't give them what they want the kinds throw a fit. Because they EXPECT their parents to give them everything. When I have kids, I'll give them treats, do them favors, but also teach them about respect and explain to them WHY they can't always get what they want.
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Post by Tiff » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:53 pm

LadyFlameSniper wrote:
Or in other words being a straight up spoiled brat. >_> The mother sounds like a total doormat in your story, Tiff.

Parents can't let their kids do what they want and give all the time because the kids will take their parents' gifts and favors for granted. And on the rare occassions these parents don't give them what they want the kinds throw a fit. Because they EXPECT their parents to give them everything. When I have kids, I'll give them treats, do them favors, but also teach them about respect and explain to them WHY they can't always get what they want.
*Nods* Exactly. And it's children like this that grow up to be the ADULTS that demand shit from others and feel no need to earn it themselves. I cannot stand people-children included-who constantly get something for nothing.

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Post by RoastedTwinkies » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:56 pm

Tiff wrote:*Nods* Exactly. And it's children like this that grow up to be the ADULTS that demand shit from others and feel no need to earn it themselves. I cannot stand people-children included-who constantly get something for nothing.
That's exactly what paints society a bad face. These spoiled brats grow up to little pre-madonna's and expect everything to be given to them. Who in their right mind would want to marry someone like that?

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Post by KoiNoVash » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:58 pm

RoastedTwinkies wrote:
Tiff wrote:*Nods* Exactly. And it's children like this that grow up to be the ADULTS that demand shit from others and feel no need to earn it themselves. I cannot stand people-children included-who constantly get something for nothing.
That's exactly what paints society a bad face. These spoiled brats grow up to little pre-madonna's and expect everything to be given to them. Who in their right mind would want to marry someone like that?
The people who grew up to be doormats and they have kids and thus the circle continues.
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Post by Ayane » Wed Jul 14, 2004 11:11 pm

Here's another one for you, and when I experienced it, I had to really hold myself back from biting the woman's head off:

I was working at a Target store a couple years back as a cashier. I believe it was back-to-school time and a woman came through my line with a cartload of stuff. While she was apparently staring off into space, her toddler (couldn't have been older than 3 or 4) decided that the push-pops at the end of one of the cashier lanes looked pretty good, took one and unwrapped it, and started sucking on it. His mother paid for her transaction and finally noticed the little boy, grabbing him and pulling the push-pop out of his hand. As she puts her wallet away and starts to put things in her cart to leave, she HANDS ME THE PUSH-POP. I take it in two fingers and innocently ask if she wants to pay for it in a seperate transaction. She said in a very demeaning tone, "No, we don't want it. It's not my fault they put that junk where kids can reach it." And she left. I was fuming. Now, I couldn't have FORCED her to buy it--my supervisor would have said "It's a $.70 sucker, let it go," but I sure felt like telling her, "Well, ya know, it's not OUR fault that you don't watch your DAMNED kid well enough to keep him from destroying OUR product. YOU'RE the reason prices are so high these day, bitch!" God, still makes me mad to this day to remember her tone of voice, like I was really out of line to suggest that she make right what was really her irresponsibility's fault in the first place. :evil:

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Post by yoshmaster5 » Wed Jul 14, 2004 11:19 pm

oh boy... any kids acting like ANY of that, I would ask the parent to leave. and the toddler PUNCHING A WEDDING CAKE AND THE PARENTS THINKING IT'S CUTE???? oh boy... I would maim the parents and child. also, making a big-ass mess and the parents not caring is horrid.

My thing:
I saw Spiderman 2 on Monday, thought it was average... but this guy brought a 3-year old to the movie. and she was FRIGHTENED, and the dad did nothing. she was SCREAMING, and running up and down the aisle, and making a huge fuss. after about 30 minutes, my dad snapped and said: "TAKE THE BABY OUT OF HERE!!!" it was entirely the dad's fault. he didn't give a shit, he just wanted to watch the movie even though his CHILD was screaming out of fright, and trying to get out of the theatre. ass.

My Aunt Michelle is kind of oblivious too... but that might be because her oldest child is autistic *no offense, but this is an extreme codition. he's 6 and can hardly say his own name* Really, the only control she has over Brandon sadly is to make him wear clothes when he goes outside... :cry: a habit of his calming down is opening and closing doors consistantly... and it drives my mom INSANE. Her younger child, Andrea isn't autistic, and is controllable... until she gets fussy. THEN, she just screams like theirs no end to the world... :cry: just insane.
I'm not sure if Aunt Michelle is just oblivious, or does this because of Brandon's condition...

I just wonder how parents live with this... most in this case think their children are god and should get everything they want. others want their kids to go to hell so they have their, "own" life. Kids being abused like that are going to be tramuatized by that, and may do the same to their kids. if the parent just dosen't care, then if the child grows up to be a crack addict or anything like that, or a murderer... then they would just live in denial about how their, "Perfect" child could do that. A parent shouldn't pamper their child with everything. discipline is needed for kids to grow up. from nap time, to grounding, taking away privleges, just to let the child know what their doing is WRONG. if you don't, the kid will grow up doing ANYTHING and thinking it's okay, because no rules were set in place. they get anything, and everything... Until they move out. THEN, they are stuck with nothing and resort to drugs or crap like that.

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Post by Lady of the Light » Thu Jul 15, 2004 1:45 am

It's might be alright to let your kid get away with some of this stuff...But what happens when they grow up? What if their demands for cookies turns into money for, say, weapons. Drugs. What if those Mario games they beg for as a kid turn into those blood soaked ones? Kids grow up- and some of them won't be nice.
Looking past your kid's faults is one thing, but what if those faults turn into criminal behavior? What if they want guns and weapons next, things that they want just as badly as a cookie or icecream? Will they buy them for the kids too?
Bad parenting should be stopped just in case it, and the kids, go too far.
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Post by Sailorasteroid » Thu Jul 15, 2004 6:59 am

What I was trying to say before (I think ^_^) is that I *like* that Veruca Salt-ian "I want it now" attitude, even if it can't be used in practical society. Let's carry the example forward--let's say the kid pays for his own ice cream. Now he doesn't have to whine or scream. But neither does he get the unbridled satisfaction of simply wanting and having. He's just making a fair exchange, money he earned for something he wants. This may sound silly or petty, but think about it logically: doesn't sacrificing your money to get something take away a little of the joy of owning it, since now that money can't go to something else? Well, only a child can get somthing in exchange simply for wanting it. I agree with you all about spoiling the kids and them getting used to it and growing up to be bad adults, but I think it's a shame that we all have to grow up and lose that ability. If we could find a way to support our kids perpetually and not have them ever need to become civilized, I think we'd let them become spoiled and it'd be ok. But it'll be a long time, if ever, before we can afford to do that.

Anyway, that's just what I think.
Things I think Are Funny Early in the Morning: If Batman were a Smurf: "Quick, Robin! We must smurf down to the Batcave and smurf the Batplane! Then we must smurf the batsmurf so we can smurf where the Joker is smurfing!"

The Croonerism Spate (explanations upon request)
Be careful with this one, there is a bit of a pun involved. Dr. Spooner described his visit to a castle: "In the center of the fortress was the Palace Court. The gated entrance to this area was the court palace."

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Post by Ni-ban Neko » Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:31 am

RoastedTwinkies wrote:My friend told me that she went to a wedding and some parents just HAD to bring their toddlers to it. Well, this little 2 year old decided to punch the wedding cake. The stupid mother did nothing but say, 'aww, how cute! Now you got your fingers all sticky!'
I'd ask the parents to leave, and notify them that they'll be getting a bill for the ruined cake. Wedding cakes are NOT cheap (trust me, I've been pricing them), and at the risk of sounding like Bridezilla, the people involved in the wedding aren't paying for a cake so your brat can ruin it.

It annoys me, too, when parents bring their kids to an adults-only event when the kids weren't invited - it's your place to find a sitter, or let the host know that you can't make it. If your kids were invited, the invitation would say "So and So and Family." If it doesn't say that, then you can safely assume your kids aren't invited and make other arrangements. It isn't the host's place to provide a sitter for you, that's your responsibility.
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