Double Standards with Women

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Double Standards with Women

Post by Tiff » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:03 pm

As a woman, I often get very, very irritated with other women create double standards for themselves, whether it be to get away with more or to somehow vocalize their "omg newfound womynhood" through the women's civil rights acts and such.

One of them, fo rexample, would be the whole "You can't hit a woman." Why is it always okay for the woman to beat on the man, but the minute he raises a hand to her, the cops haul him off? Too often, i've watched police shows where this happens..the man is BLEEDING because she stabbed him, but yet because she has a scratch on her, he's hauled to the hole. When did this become okay? When did abuse become something that was okay for one sex to do, but not for the other? Personally, I don't think ANYBODY in a relationship should be hitting the other, but if I watched some girl hit Derek, I'd be more than happy to watch him hit her back.

Are men not allowed to defend themselves because the women are supposedly "omg so tiny and delicate?" Bullshit. I'm not tiny and delicate, and while a bigger man could PROBABLY best me in a REAL fight or wrestling match, my fists and nails are still quite capable of hurting him.

Another double standard was realized this morning, while iw as listening to a radio show on the way to work. The male DJ, Tony, was saying how he had a buddy whose wife complained that her husband never did anything around the house, and so until he gave her a day at the spa to thank her, she was going to withhold sex.

The female DJ, Victoria, agreed with the wife.

I wholeheartedly 100% disagreed with both women. Id on't think it's right for EITHER side to withhold anything like that. First of all, it's childish and only serves to treat the person from whom you're withholding as a child. Parents withhold privlidges from CHILDREN,not from spouses.

Derek and I have NEVER done something like that to eachother, and if he did it to me, I'd be upset for two reasons. 1) I'm not a child and 2) =P I like sex just as much as he does, so wtf.

So I called into the show (not something I normally do, but victoria was pissing me off more and more), and basically told them exactly what I just said, and it seemed I was the only woman who thought this action wasn't okay.

So tell me...when did it become okay for women to have such huge double standards for themselves? Are there any other double standards you've noticed with women? Have you ever experienced one and it made you mad/upset?

Discuss!

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Post by Senshi_of_Vision » Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:44 pm

Man this is an issue that bothers me as much as "token" replacements in movies. I always personally hated things that "separate" men from women such as standards like woman are weak and frail and cannot handle things men can or that we are overly emotional so we should be cut slack on things.

But the worst example of double standards Ive seen that truly burns me is the issue with women who purposely go after young boys that they are in care of or teach. Now ive seen male teachers that have been let go for making comments that seemed lewd to some. Yet ive blantantly heard men and women joke about how its no big deal about the women who have been busted having sex with minor boys. Im sorry but just like an older man with a teenage girl I think an older woman with a boy can have as much psychological damage done to the teen. And it bugs me when I hear anyone say that "its not as bad." yes it is bad and sickening that people joke about such a serious topic.

I watched a comedy show on abc a few weeks ago that made light of such a subject. I know they tried to convey a serious side to it but it was only coming from the mothers point of view, where as the father treated it like it was no big deal. A sexual offender is an offender period and it should not matter if she is a female or "hot" its still wrong. And its sad how many people dont see it as a problem when it clearly is. And as mom I cant help to worry what kind a world my kid is growing up in where anyone can feel its okay for an adult to persue an underage teen no matter what sex they are.

Another thing that bugs me is how some women will use their charms to get out of tickets they know they deserve. If your doing something wrong then you should pay no matter what yet some people will and have used flirting to get out of trouble and that bugs me to.


As for the with holding sex, I agree with Tiff. I do not think its a proper tactic to work out any relationship problem. In fact to me it will cause more problems in the long run. IMO talking is the best way to solve conflict in a relationship period. And if your partner wont talk with you or is stubborn then maybe the relationship is the problem itself and holding sex wont help either way.
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Post by Tiff » Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:44 pm

Senshi_of_Vision wrote:Man this is an issue that bothers me as much as "token" replacements in movies. I always personally hated things that "separate" men from women such as standards like woman are weak and frail and cannot handle things men can or that we are overly emotional so we should be cut slack on things.

But the worst example of double standards Ive seen that truly burns me is the issue with women who purposely go after young boys that they are in care of or teach. Now ive seen male teachers that have been let go for making comments that seemed lewd to some. Yet ive blantantly heard men and women joke about how its no big deal about the women who have been busted having sex with minor boys. Im sorry but just like an older man with a teenage girl I think an older woman with a boy can have as much psychological damage done to the teen. And it bugs me when I hear anyone say that "its not as bad." yes it is bad and sickening that people joke about such a serious topic.

I watched a comedy show on abc a few weeks ago that made light of such a subject. I know they tried to convey a serious side to it but it was only coming from the mothers point of view, where as the father treated it like it was no big deal. A sexual offender is an offender period and it should not matter if she is a female or "hot" its still wrong. And its sad how many people dont see it as a problem when it clearly is. And as mom I cant help to worry what kind a world my kid is growing up in where anyone can feel its okay for an adult to persue an underage teen no matter what sex they are.
I never truly understood that, either...I mean, a pedophile is a pedophile, but for some reason it seems some people make lighter of teen boys with adult women than teen girls with adult men. Both are equally creepy and gross.
As for the with holding sex, I agree with Tiff. I do not think its a proper tactic to work out any relationship problem. In fact to me it will cause more problems in the long run. IMO talking is the best way to solve conflict in a relationship period. And if your partner wont talk with you or is stubborn then maybe the relationship is the problem itself and holding sex wont help either way.
And hell, think of this way: If some woman wants to withhold sex for weeks from her husband/boyfriend/SO, don't be fucking surprised if he cheats on you and gets it elsewhere. Using sex as a weapon is just plain stupid.

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Post by Kameko » Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:55 pm

A double standard that annoys me is when women clamor for equal rights and then insist that the man pays or in regards to military service. These women are the "weaker sex" when it suits them.
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Post by AnimeGuru0 » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:18 pm

Speaking of double standards lets not even get me started on the abortion issue >_>;;;;

For a vast majority of americans (especially leaning towards liberal americans) an unborn child is completely the property of the woman, and the man has no say. It's just too angering...

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Post by Tiff » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:21 pm

Kameko wrote:A double standard that annoys me is when women clamor for equal rights and then insist that the man pays or in regards to military service. These women are the "weaker sex" when it suits them.
Don't you know? They want to be able to join the military, but they don't want to have to go to war.

They also tend to "forget" whether or not they served in Iran so they can use that to claim sexual harrassment or rape. (Look it up. It's an appalling story.)

(keep in mind, folks, i'm not speaking of every woman. There are some really awesome women in the military.)

Speaking of double standards lets not even get me started on the abortion issue >_>;;;;

For a vast majority of americans (especially leaning towards liberal americans) an unborn child is completely the property of the woman, and the man has no say. It's just too angering...
God. Kill it. you can see my thoughts in the abortion thread.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by Senshi_of_Vision » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:09 pm

I wont get into an abortion debate cause i know how I feel but to an extent I agree with Bob on a males right in regards to the welfare of a child. It bothers me that some people automatically feel a mother is the better parent for a child, especially when some women are out there only to collect government checks on kids they spit out. Now im in no way saying the fathers of said children are any better. But I do believe if a father wants to petition to half custody of a kid that the courts should not always assume they are better off with a mother. If my ex had cared enough to fight for custody of our son an I was in no frame of mind or condition to care for my son I would hope that the courts would look into that and not assume that Mother= better parent.

My aunt who works for the legal system and family courts told me that she has seen many a judge just deny a father rights because they feel that a single male cannot raise a child as well as a single female and it bugs me. I dunno if this applies for all states but in alot of southern states its a general practice.

Another thing that bugs me is when women like me complain about said bias we are told its because of our own personal looks. I guess people assume that good looking women do not have strong opinions or voices. And that the only women who have social conscience or truly want equal standards are "Dogs" its always bugged me about that. Why is it that to be a woman and look well you must forgo any independant and strong willed thoughts. And if your not in the mainstream good looks that your opinion is automatically crap because you arent a supermodel?
"Have you been half asleep? And have youve heard voices?
I hear them calling my name."
Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors?
The voice maybe one in the same.
Ive heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I sposed to be..
Someday we''''ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lover, the dreamer, and me..."




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Post by Tiff » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:58 pm

Senshi_of_Vision wrote:I wont get into an abortion debate cause i know how I feel but to an extent I agree with Bob on a males right in regards to the welfare of a child. It bothers me that some people automatically feel a mother is the better parent for a child, especially when some women are out there only to collect government checks on kids they spit out. Now im in no way saying the fathers of said children are any better. But I do believe if a father wants to petition to half custody of a kid that the courts should not always assume they are better off with a mother. If my ex had cared enough to fight for custody of our son an I was in no frame of mind or condition to care for my son I would hope that the courts would look into that and not assume that Mother= better parent.

My aunt who works for the legal system and family courts told me that she has seen many a judge just deny a father rights because they feel that a single male cannot raise a child as well as a single female and it bugs me. I dunno if this applies for all states but in alot of southern states its a general practice.
Well, we'll leave the abortion talk to the abortion thread.

I do think that sometimes family courts tend to favor the women...certainly not ALL the time, but i've heard it happens.

Another thing that bugs me is when women like me complain about said bias we are told its because of our own personal looks. I guess people assume that good looking women do not have strong opinions or voices. And that the only women who have social conscience or truly want equal standards are "Dogs" its always bugged me about that. Why is it that to be a woman and look well you must forgo any independant and strong willed thoughts. And if your not in the mainstream good looks that your opinion is automatically crap because you arent a supermodel?
I never understood that double standard, either. Women who are curvy tend to get pissed at women who are thin...well, hell, if someone is naturally thin or works out to maintain a healthy weight, that doesn't make them bitches. Now, the group of women who refuse to eat more than half a cracker because "OMG THEY MUST BE A SIZE NEGATIVE ZEROOOO" can kiss my curvy ass. But those who are just..well, thin and pretty...who the hell am I to judge them? They're likely just as capable and smart as I am, and just as I don't want them to bash me for being curvy, I'm not going to bash them for being thin.

Of course, women are catty by nature, so we kinda do this to ourselves.

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Post by Senshi_of_Vision » Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:46 pm

Yeah its crazy how women can get so wrapped up in the looks issues and forgo being intelligent just to win approval. I dont knock skinny broads either do I want to be one? Nah Im losing weight for health reasons. I prefer to be a curvy too hehe.

Another thing that Ive seen as a double standard is showing emotions in general. When a woman gets choked up over things no one is shocked. But let a guy show some tears over something and he gets called derogatory names labeling his sexual orientation and it makes no sense to me. Um why is being sensitive automatically a female or gay emotion? Specially since I know plenty of gay men who dont get weepy at all.
"Have you been half asleep? And have youve heard voices?
I hear them calling my name."
Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors?
The voice maybe one in the same.
Ive heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I sposed to be..
Someday we''''ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lover, the dreamer, and me..."




*Being a bad girl is such hard work....

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Post by peachvampiress » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:10 am

Tiff
Don't you know? They want to be able to join the military, but they don't want to have to go to war.
Don't forget how it's sexist to hold women to the same standards as men when training them. Like expecting them to complete an obstacle course in the same amount of time as a man, or expecting them to be strong enough to throw a grenade outside it's blast radius.

One thing I can't stand is when women take custody of their kids and prevent the father from seeing them, yet still take child support from them. And then go on about how "They don't need no man to help them raise a child!"

And has anyone watched any of the court shows they have on during the day? It amazes me how many women don't seem to understand that when the guy has custody, THEY have to pay child support.
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Post by Senshi_of_Vision » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:29 am

Peach is right about that for sure ive seen plenty of court shows where the women get down right offended. But you are their mother is all I keep thinking. If I knew I couldnt be there for my son physically id at least like to think id be able to send some support for him. I just never got how some women can think that if they lose custody of their kids thats it for their roles as a mom. Now I have sole custody of my son and I do not recieve support from his father if I did he would have all the right in the world to visit our son. But he willingly gave up his rights and I get no support from him which is how it should be. Some of these women refuse to give up rights cause they can claim their kids for government assitance or to cheat on income tax returns and its sad.
"Have you been half asleep? And have youve heard voices?
I hear them calling my name."
Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors?
The voice maybe one in the same.
Ive heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I sposed to be..
Someday we''''ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lover, the dreamer, and me..."




*Being a bad girl is such hard work....

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Post by Tiff » Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:32 pm

peachvampiress wrote:
One thing I can't stand is when women take custody of their kids and prevent the father from seeing them, yet still take child support from them. And then go on about how "They don't need no man to help them raise a child!"
well...that issue has so many grey areas. Really, I do think that if the man is unable to see his child for whatever reason, that child still deserves his/her support from their father. it isn't right to punish the child by withholding monetary support simply because them other may be a bitch or the father may be a deadbeat, or vice versa. The problem is, it's so easy for mama to take that child support check and spend it on herself, rather than give it to the child or put it toward the child's needs.

But yes, I think that it is NEVER right to withhold visits with a father's child simply because the mother wants to be petty, a bitch, or vengeful. That's just plain wrong, and it only hurts the child in the end.

And has anyone watched any of the court shows they have on during the day? It amazes me how many women don't seem to understand that when the guy has custody, THEY have to pay child support.
Yeah, WTF. Mom and I watch those shows religiously, and it amazes me how many mothers are entitlement bitches. It's like... "well I had the baby and even though I don't want it and am making the father take care of it, I still shouldn't have to pay for it." Please. You don't deserve an award for having the kid and dumping it off because you still want to party and be young. if anything, you deserve to be punished.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by Senshi_of_Vision » Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:21 pm

Its the same with Welfare to though, the system makes it very hard for single fathers to go and apply for certain help and its sad.

I used to work with my aunt for a division of children and family services during the summer just light secretary stuff. And besides the normal case stuff id seen things that pertain to welfare cases. And it amazes me how some of the officials will down right bend over backwards for a woman spitting out babies on the system where as a father coming in just to apply for some extra food stamps will get looked down on.

Now this happened in the area I lived in, in florida I dunno how it is in other states, but then again that area is the same that will not let same sex couples adopt but will let them be foster parents so its all assed backwards.

I just think that if a person needs help with their kids that they should be able to get it no matter what sex they are. Specially now that the program is geared to help people better themselves threw trainning and paying for some to go back to school to get better jobs and not need assistance anymore.
"Have you been half asleep? And have youve heard voices?
I hear them calling my name."
Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors?
The voice maybe one in the same.
Ive heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I sposed to be..
Someday we''''ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lover, the dreamer, and me..."




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Post by Cardcaptor Takato » Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:53 pm

One double standard I can't stand is the existence of fangirls. Whenever guys obsess over a girl's looks, people complain that they're treating women as sex objects, but it's suddenly ok or women to obsess over a man's looks, like all those teeny bopper girls that obsess over male celebrities and plaster their walls with posters and buy every single magazine they can with them in it. I don't think it's right for either gender to treat people like sex objects, but I don't get why people act like it's just a phase for girls to obsess over guys yet guys get labeled as perverts for obsessing over girls.
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Post by Rainbow » Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:42 pm

This is a bit of a milder case than child-custody issues, but there's something that's happened to me a few times at school. At my college, we use a special debit card to pay for things like getting food at the restaurants/cafeterias (there's both) on campus. I'm fairly absent-minded about where I put things, and I've misplaced that card a few times, especially when I was a 1st year/2nd year student. However, I've never had to miss lunch, because I cried (I didn't do it to be manipulative, I just got upset) and each time, someone bought lunch for me. And one time, I got to the sandwich shop after it closed (my class went too late, I guess) and I cried and they let me get something for free.

The point is, I was thinking (yes, I thought that then) and I felt kind of guilty since I probably wouldn't have gotten away with that if I was a guy.

I suppose some of the problems with these double-standards is that there have been efforts to let women be more like the guys stereotypically were supposed to be (like there's women's sports and girls are allowed to wear pants and stuff) but the men are too scared to do things that would be stereotypically feminine. I think it's kinda unfair that guys can't wear skirts if they want to, but girls can wear pants. Or, like in my example, a boy would've probably just gotten scolded for crying and being stupid.

Sexism hurts both men and women, I think.
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Post by Tiff » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:03 pm

Rainbow wrote:This is a bit of a milder case than child-custody issues, but there's something that's happened to me a few times at school. At my college, we use a special debit card to pay for things like getting food at the restaurants/cafeterias (there's both) on campus. I'm fairly absent-minded about where I put things, and I've misplaced that card a few times, especially when I was a 1st year/2nd year student. However, I've never had to miss lunch, because I cried (I didn't do it to be manipulative, I just got upset) and each time, someone bought lunch for me. And one time, I got to the sandwich shop after it closed (my class went too late, I guess) and I cried and they let me get something for free.

The point is, I was thinking (yes, I thought that then) and I felt kind of guilty since I probably wouldn't have gotten away with that if I was a guy.
1) You...cried? o.o; don't you think that's a little excessive?

2) Honestly? You should feel a bit guilty. Why do you LET those people buy you food and give you free stuff? If you KNOW it's not cool, then when you cry and someone goes "here, have a free lunch", you should say "No, it's my fault I forgot my card, it's okay, really." instead of just accepting it. And it sounds like you've done this multiple times. Honestly, it's almost like you're buying into and accepting this whole thing.

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Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by Senshi_of_Vision » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:10 pm

I think alot of women do the "Crying" thing because its amazing the things people do when they see a female cry or to stop them. With my ex he absolutely hated in the beginning of our relationship to see my cry for any reason. But it worked both ways I knew if I seen him cry it was something serious. Its a strong emotion and I think its bad to use it to gain your advantage on stuff but alot of women pull that.

Its just like the airheaded or flirty mode some women used to get things or get out of trouble. But if a guy tries it hes a gigaloo or a pig. I like it when my guy friends flirt even if they are just kidding its funny and fun to see. Yet for mainstream guys arent supposed to be bubbly and flirty thats a women only thing and to me thats pretty stupid.
"Have you been half asleep? And have youve heard voices?
I hear them calling my name."
Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors?
The voice maybe one in the same.
Ive heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I sposed to be..
Someday we''''ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lover, the dreamer, and me..."




*Being a bad girl is such hard work....

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Post by Rainbow » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:25 pm

Well, "guilty" probably isn't the correct word to use, I suppose a better way to phrase it would be that I was aware that it was something I wouldn't have gotten away with if I was a guy. And I also didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, as the saying goes, I mean, if someone was willing to do that, then I wanted to take their offer.

Yes, it's rather excessive, but I think I cry easier than most people and get upset at things I probably shouldn't. I'm not quite sure why, although since I started taking Prozac I haven't been as bad about that.
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The Realm of the Dessert Senshi. My fanfic series that is set in Crystal Tokyo and includes foreign Senshi, fat Senshi, a Senshi in a wheelchair and a magical hyrax.

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Post by Tiff » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:31 pm

Rainbow wrote:Well, "guilty" probably isn't the correct word to use, I suppose a better way to phrase it would be that I was aware that it was something I wouldn't have gotten away with if I was a guy. And I also didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, as the saying goes, I mean, if someone was willing to do that, then I wanted to take their offer.
...Yes, taking an offer once, but to do it over and over? I don't know. That seems wrong, somehow, to me. I mean, it's not going to help you remember your card if everytime you forget it, all you have to do is cry and someone comes to your rescue.

Joey: The question is, Rachel, does he like you? ''Cuz if he doesn''t, then it''s all just a moo point.
Rachel: Huh...a...moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It''''s like a cow''s opinion. It doesn''t matter....It''s moo.
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Post by Senshi_of_Vision » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:44 pm

Another two things that bug me is when

1. Women talk about being equals yet will balk on going dutch on a date. Oh im real equal till its time to pick up a tab. Also I have a few friends who swear they would never ask a guy out cause its "the guys" job to do that and im like wth? why I think if you have the courage to do it ask a guy out youd be suprized how many guys actually find it flattering.

2. When I worked for this one company the ratio to male female managers was horribly inbalanced. I always assumed it was due to old mentality that a man had to be in charged till I made it to management myself. Then I found out alot of females were offered upper management positions but did not want to do the extra work that it entailed which included extra nights, sometimes driving a route and learning machine repair. But yet alot of the women working there bitched about how they never moved up...um what the hell if you want to move up be willing to do the work or shut the hell up!


I know I can think of more but those two stuck for now.
"Have you been half asleep? And have youve heard voices?
I hear them calling my name."
Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors?
The voice maybe one in the same.
Ive heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I sposed to be..
Someday we''''ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lover, the dreamer, and me..."




*Being a bad girl is such hard work....

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